My phone does not include "chaperon" in its word recognition database

1. Samantha loves riding roller coasters.

2. Samantha is asked if she and Darrin will be chaperons to an amusement park with lots of roller coasters for a ninth grade trip. 

3. Samantha says, "Of course," then wonders if she should have asked Darrin first.

4. Samantha rides a school bus full of ninth graders for three hours. 

5. Samantha's bus rear-ends the bus full of ninth graders just ahead of them.

6. Samantha's bus arrives at the place of roller coasters.

7. Samantha meets with her group of six ninth graders and says:

a) This is my cell phone number.

b) Call me in one hour and we'll meet for lunch.

c) Otherwise, don't call or text me unless someone in this group is bleeding, broken, or dead.

d) I will be riding roller coasters. You should be, too. Don't bug me.

8. Samantha finds Darrin and they ride roller coasters. 

9. Samantha's group of six ninth graders keep texting to find out what ride Samantha is on.

10. Samantha ignores them.

11. Samantha and Darrin go to eat lunch. Samantha's group of ninth graders straggles in. So does Darrin's group.

12. Samantha tells her group of ninth graders she still expects a phone call.

13. Samantha's group, sitting across the table from her, call to check in. They don't say anything. They just giggle.

14. One of Darrin's group has lost his meal ticket. Samantha gets another plate of food to give to him, even though she's not supposed to. The server looks at her strangely. Samantha says, "What? I'm really hungry. Riding roller coasters is hard work!"

15. The menu: hot dogs, barbecued beef sandwiches, mustard and mayonnaise with a few pieces of potato somewhere inside, potato chips, soda pop. 

16. Samantha eats food she despises. 

17. Samantha feels sick.

18. Samantha and Darrin leave their groups, instructing them once again to go away and leave them alone.

19. Samantha doesn't think lunch will stay inside if they ride roller coasters.

20. Samantha and Darrin ride the Ghost Blasters ride repeatedly. Samantha beats Darrin every time. Her high score is 1019. Darrin's is 679. The mannequin in front of the ride looks like a guy in their ward. 

21. Samantha's group keeps texting her to see if she's thrown up yet. Samantha ignores them.

22. Samantha and Darrin sit at a table and drink water. The couple next to them is sharing a turkey leg. Darrin wants one. Samantha says if he eats one more bite of meat that day, she will throw up. Darrin abstains.

23. Samantha's group texts her to tell her to ride the water ride. Samantha ignores them.

24. Samantha rides the Tilt-a-whirl with Tabitha because Darrin won't go on spinny rides with her. Samantha is sad she can't find Adam to ride the Teacups with her.

25. Samantha and Darrin ride the Ferris Wheel. The couple in front of them are making out. Darrin thinks they should, too. Samantha says no. She's feeling queasy from watching the make-out couple and doesn't want to throw up in Darrin's mouth. Darrin takes pictures instead. Samantha looks at the chewed-up bits of gum on the roofs of the gondolas below them.

26. Samantha's group texts her to tell her there's still time to ride one more roller coaster before we have to leave. Samantha ignores them.

27. Darrin and Samantha go to the designated meeting place to find their groups. 

28. Samantha and Darrin board their bus. Darrin calls roll. It is ineffective. 

29. Samantha's group texts her to let her know they are all on the bus. Samantha waves to them.

30. Samantha's bus stops at McDonald's for dinner. Samantha sighs with relief and orders yogurt and a salad. 

31. Samantha's group, standing next to her in line, texts her to let her know they made it safely into the restaurant. Samantha pretends she doesn't notice her phone beeping.

32. Samantha gets on the bus again and goes to sleep while Darrin tries to call roll.

33. Samantha's group keeps texting her to wake up. Samantha doesn't.

34. Samantha arrives home, gets off a very smelly, yucky school bus, and into her lovely clean car with Darrin, Tabitha, and Adam, and goes home.

35. Samantha's group texts her to let her know they're all home safely. Samantha ignores them.

36. One week later, Samantha's group is still sending text updates. Samantha isn't quite sure what to do with them. She's ignoring them, but they aren't going away.

37. Sigh.