I finally watched my friend's memorial service. It was predictably Mormon. I wanted them to say more about him. I miss him.

Tolkien boy agreed to watch it with me. He said it made him think about the things he did NOT want at his own funeral. I don't think I care what goes on at my funeral. I don't actually want to have one.

I'm sad today. Not just because my friend died, but there are so many things, overwhelming things, pushing their way into my life. I think I need a reset.

And I have to get a new therapist. The need for help is becoming stronger each week. And I am becoming weaker.