Beautiful World

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. --Virginia Woolf

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Because I need a place and it's not Facebook.

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I don't really have words to say what I'm feeling. Forty-nine people went out to enjoy an evening. Some were probably with the perso...
Thursday, June 9, 2016

Letting things be exactly what they are

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I promised myself that when Darrin got a job I would take some time to regroup. About a month ago, he began a temporary job. It will end in ...
Wednesday, June 1, 2016

"I've become accustomed to her face"

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Getting used to things...people...places...circumstances... I suppose eventually one grows accustomed to most things in life. And then thing...
Monday, May 23, 2016

1+1=2

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Okay, let's lay this out and look at it carefully: 1. I've been under a lot of stress for a very long time. That's not chang...
Monday, May 16, 2016

And now a word from our sponsor.

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New development, sort of. It's a shift in paradigms that's been taking place over the last couple of years. I've been unwelcomin...
Sunday, May 15, 2016

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I don't really know how to write about this. It's been hanging around for a long time, but words escape me. When I try to explain ve...
Monday, May 9, 2016

"Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank

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My mother has dementia. I'm not sure how many times I've written about this. She seems perfectly normal. If you met her today, you...
1 comment:
Wednesday, April 27, 2016

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Lots to think about tonight. I don't know that I'll have the words for the thoughts. Probably that doesn't matter. There are m...
Saturday, April 2, 2016

Dependency is not satisfiable.

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I recently encountered this sentence in one of my transcription jobs. For whatever reason, it's running in a loop in my head. I keep thi...
Monday, March 28, 2016

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A few years ago Tabitha was going through some terrible times. She would have breakdowns every day - sometimes more than one a day. I never ...
1 comment:
Sunday, March 27, 2016

Easter 2016

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This is usually a beautiful day for me. I love Easter. Today, though, not so much. I'm not better yet. As Therapist would say, ...
Monday, March 21, 2016

Pilgrim Song

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Therapist called me last Wednesday. I had sent him a very short email that morning, briefly letting him know about the suicidal thoughts/dep...
2 comments:
Monday, March 7, 2016

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This morning, very early, I called a suicide hotline. And then I hung up. Because what would they tell me to do? Get help. Go to a hospital....
3 comments:
Sunday, March 6, 2016

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I Googled, "I'm sad" today. The result was page after page of ways to cheer up, interspersed with the odd mental health articl...
Sunday, February 14, 2016

Valentine's Day

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I've had more than one friend who was single on Valentine's Day tell me that I just don't understand. I've never been in my ...
2 comments:
Saturday, February 13, 2016

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I think the answer is that one day you just get tired of fighting for something that's not going to happen--some process or feeling or s...
Sunday, January 24, 2016

This is lovely

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And one day I will have a garden again. Probably not this year, but possibly next.
Saturday, January 9, 2016

Okay

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Early this week I realized I felt okay. I've had no panic attacks or anxiety for a little while now. I don't feel sad constantly. I ...
2 comments:
Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Lunch Break Post

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No classes to teach this semester, only private students and accompanying. My continuing education is finished and I'm ready for the tax...
Saturday, January 2, 2016

Camaraderie Versus Intimacy

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Camaraderie: The quality of affording easy familiarity and sociability Intimacy: 1. Close or warm friendship  2. A feeling of being intima...
Tuesday, December 29, 2015

"I'm allowing this to be part of my story. It's not my only story..." --Beth Stelling

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This is a quote from a celebrity who was a domestic abuse victim. I'm not sure why, but when I read her story, those words felt like my ...
Wednesday, December 16, 2015

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I didn't have a lot of time this semester, so rather than dealing with PTSD, I ignored it. Which means I lived on low-level anxiety and ...
Monday, December 14, 2015

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I suppose this old blog is nearing the end of its existence. That's probably as it should be. I've been emotionally attached to this...
Friday, October 9, 2015

Natural Selection

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I am addressing the decision to adapt or face extinction. People do it everyday without even knowing it's happening. My awareness of it ...
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Samantha
I don't eat blue food.
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