Beautiful World

That's how long I'm giving the post-anesthesia depression. I think it's reasonable. About one week per hour that I was in surger...

I'm actually not sure why I write here anymore. Maybe to keep a record? I'm pretty sure it's not because I feel the need to shar...

That's what this was not. 1. My insurance has denied the claim. All of it. Apparently, if I was in the ER, bleeding to death, and an e...

Things I've been doing to prepare for surgery: 1. Running. Every day. Sometimes twice a day. Because I can't stop panicking. And...

I am having trouble coping with this day. Yesterday I got bad news about my health. Major surgery-type news. I can't even think about ...

I've never really felt like I was home. Anywhere. Probably this has something to do with the fact that I lived in six different cities/t...

I'm not kidding. Also, I'm not politically correct. Do not feel sorry for the mentally challenged? the reality benders? those who ca...

Most often, I grow flowers and herbs in the garden area in front of my house. That's good. Sometimes I grow things inside of me. That...

I don't really have words to say what I'm feeling. Forty-nine people went out to enjoy an evening. Some were probably with the perso...

I promised myself that when Darrin got a job I would take some time to regroup. About a month ago, he began a temporary job. It will end in ...

Getting used to things...people...places...circumstances... I suppose eventually one grows accustomed to most things in life. And then thing...

Okay, let's lay this out and look at it carefully: 1. I've been under a lot of stress for a very long time. That's not chang...

New development, sort of. It's a shift in paradigms that's been taking place over the last couple of years. I've been unwelcomin...

I don't really know how to write about this. It's been hanging around for a long time, but words escape me. When I try to explain ve...

My mother has dementia. I'm not sure how many times I've written about this. She seems perfectly normal. If you met her today, you...

Lots to think about tonight. I don't know that I'll have the words for the thoughts. Probably that doesn't matter. There are m...

I recently encountered this sentence in one of my transcription jobs. For whatever reason, it's running in a loop in my head. I keep thi...

A few years ago Tabitha was going through some terrible times. She would have breakdowns every day - sometimes more than one a day. I never ...

This is usually a beautiful day for me. I love Easter. Today, though, not so much. I'm not better yet. As Therapist would say, ...

Therapist called me last Wednesday. I had sent him a very short email that morning, briefly letting him know about the suicidal thoughts/dep...

This morning, very early, I called a suicide hotline. And then I hung up. Because what would they tell me to do? Get help. Go to a hospital....

I Googled, "I'm sad" today. The result was page after page of ways to cheer up, interspersed with the odd mental health articl...

I've had more than one friend who was single on Valentine's Day tell me that I just don't understand. I've never been in my ...

I think the answer is that one day you just get tired of fighting for something that's not going to happen--some process or feeling or s...

And one day I will have a garden again. Probably not this year, but possibly next.

Early this week I realized I felt okay. I've had no panic attacks or anxiety for a little while now. I don't feel sad constantly. I ...