Beautiful World

Two things: 1. I'm exhausted. 2. PTSD is big tonight. Most of the time I wait to write until the worst is over. And I really believe...

Every once in a blue moon I do something despicable. I don't know why I do it, and it usually involves someone I care about deeply. Like...

July is almost finished. I haven't written because I don't really know how to express what I've been feeling. Lots of things hav...

There have been a lot of days during the past couple of weeks when I have wanted to come here. But I'm working on something. I am tryi...

All quotes are from the National Center for PTSD. "Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationship...

How to proceed? I gave myself a few days for everything to calm down. I told myself to stop being dramatic. The result? PTSD managemen...

I had a friend once who read my blog. This was back when I wrote things of substance that were upbeat and sometimes even funny. He would rea...

I've put off writing about this because it causes all sorts of unwelcome and overwhelming emotions. Therapist assigned me to write down ...

I'm supposed to write more about my therapy stuff tonight, but I don't want to. Tonight I want to be on a warm beach, listening to...

During his interview, my father discussed with me the extent of mental and physical disability suffered by the person who molested me. Brent...

I interviewed my mother over the phone first. She wasn't present when the incident happened. On top of that, she was experiencing a diff...

And now I know, I think. But I still don't know how to talk about it. Retelling what happened, what I can piece together from flashbac...

But I will try. Therapist has said on many occasions that, given the abuse and assault I have experienced, and the ages at which those occ...

I need to sleep. My brain wants to think. Incompatible. I practice in sections. Each piece is divided and marked before I ever begin learn...

Talking to my parents about their recollections of the bathroom molestation incident. That sucked. Indeed, it did.

I really did try to not think about the bathroom thing. And here's what happened: Wednesday: I got up and went running. And everything...

Today Therapist told me that I'm not really in a place, physically, where I have what I need to work on the things that are becoming inc...

Today, springlike, made me wish for a walk. I didn't take one. Still resting that strained tendon and hoping for healing soon. But I wil...

Okay, this has to be short because it's after 1:00 a.m., and I really do need to be sleeping. However, today I hit a wall. I've be...

Stable today. When PTSD feels managed, I occasionally feel the need to just spend time with someone. Not needy, discuss feelings, tell me ...

Someone once asked me why I waited so long to get help for PTSD. I'll be honest. I just walked away and pretended I hadn't heard. At...

Eight years ago Obama became the first black American president. And lots of people hated him. Really, really hated him. He was called Satan...

Sometimes I can't stop thinking. Probably that happens to lots of people. The trouble is that when my brain is in overdrive, I want to u...