Beautiful World

Adam calls me Robohips. And he's married now. That's weird. We're moving again. This is a very good thing. We need to be away ...

Today is a rock bottom day. You know when you get to the place when even crying feels like too much of an effort? I'm there. The job i...

I have a new job. It's good. I'm finally well enough to use running as an effective tool to manage PTSD again. What that means is,...

I stopped writing. Real writing. I mean, you have to write stuff at work-- lesson plans, email, shopping lists. But all the things I've ...

That's almost how long it's been since I came here. I have a number of reasons for staying away, the first of which being that I jus...

Sometimes you celebrate the demise of a year quietly. Outside there were fireworks. Some felt a little too close for comfort as the sparks h...

Gratitude is a funny thing. I talk about things that make my life better. I remember people who have helped shape my life and who continue t...

So much on my mind today. I stopped writing after my last post. Not just here. Everywhere. I have other blogs where I'm not anonymous ...

In spite of my better intentions, I have been disconnecting. It would be very easy for me to talk about all the reasons this makes me a terr...

Two things: 1. I'm exhausted. 2. PTSD is big tonight. Most of the time I wait to write until the worst is over. And I really believe...

Every once in a blue moon I do something despicable. I don't know why I do it, and it usually involves someone I care about deeply. Like...

July is almost finished. I haven't written because I don't really know how to express what I've been feeling. Lots of things hav...

There have been a lot of days during the past couple of weeks when I have wanted to come here. But I'm working on something. I am tryi...

All quotes are from the National Center for PTSD. "Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationship...

How to proceed? I gave myself a few days for everything to calm down. I told myself to stop being dramatic. The result? PTSD managemen...

I had a friend once who read my blog. This was back when I wrote things of substance that were upbeat and sometimes even funny. He would rea...

I've put off writing about this because it causes all sorts of unwelcome and overwhelming emotions. Therapist assigned me to write down ...

I'm supposed to write more about my therapy stuff tonight, but I don't want to. Tonight I want to be on a warm beach, listening to...

During his interview, my father discussed with me the extent of mental and physical disability suffered by the person who molested me. Brent...

I interviewed my mother over the phone first. She wasn't present when the incident happened. On top of that, she was experiencing a diff...

And now I know, I think. But I still don't know how to talk about it. Retelling what happened, what I can piece together from flashbac...

But I will try. Therapist has said on many occasions that, given the abuse and assault I have experienced, and the ages at which those occ...

I need to sleep. My brain wants to think. Incompatible. I practice in sections. Each piece is divided and marked before I ever begin learn...

Talking to my parents about their recollections of the bathroom molestation incident. That sucked. Indeed, it did.

I really did try to not think about the bathroom thing. And here's what happened: Wednesday: I got up and went running. And everything...