Beautiful World

I suppose, if I have to assess where I am right now, I would say I am more calm. About pretty much everything. Tolkien boy once told me that...

 I'm fascinated and a little aggravated at how my subconscious does not want me to return to this. A couple of weeks ago, my therapist g...

I'm back in therapy. It will be vastly different this time.  Years ago when I started the first time, I began my first blog. And people ...

I finally watched my friend's memorial service. It was predictably Mormon. I wanted them to say more about him. I miss him. Tolkien boy ...

I feel like I've done a lot of that lately. A wonderful friend of mine passed away earlier this year. It felt like my heart would break....

 I survived 2020. Just wanted to put that out there. Why am I back here? Well, during my decade of blogging I learned a great deal about mys...

Adam calls me Robohips. And he's married now. That's weird. We're moving again. This is a very good thing. We need to be away ...

Today is a rock bottom day. You know when you get to the place when even crying feels like too much of an effort? I'm there. The job i...

I have a new job. It's good. I'm finally well enough to use running as an effective tool to manage PTSD again. What that means is,...

I stopped writing. Real writing. I mean, you have to write stuff at work-- lesson plans, email, shopping lists. But all the things I've ...

That's almost how long it's been since I came here. I have a number of reasons for staying away, the first of which being that I jus...

Sometimes you celebrate the demise of a year quietly. Outside there were fireworks. Some felt a little too close for comfort as the sparks h...

Gratitude is a funny thing. I talk about things that make my life better. I remember people who have helped shape my life and who continue t...

So much on my mind today. I stopped writing after my last post. Not just here. Everywhere. I have other blogs where I'm not anonymous ...

In spite of my better intentions, I have been disconnecting. It would be very easy for me to talk about all the reasons this makes me a terr...

Two things: 1. I'm exhausted. 2. PTSD is big tonight. Most of the time I wait to write until the worst is over. And I really believe...

Every once in a blue moon I do something despicable. I don't know why I do it, and it usually involves someone I care about deeply. Like...

July is almost finished. I haven't written because I don't really know how to express what I've been feeling. Lots of things hav...

There have been a lot of days during the past couple of weeks when I have wanted to come here. But I'm working on something. I am tryi...

All quotes are from the National Center for PTSD. "Trauma survivors with PTSD may have trouble with their close family relationship...

How to proceed? I gave myself a few days for everything to calm down. I told myself to stop being dramatic. The result? PTSD managemen...

I had a friend once who read my blog. This was back when I wrote things of substance that were upbeat and sometimes even funny. He would rea...

I've put off writing about this because it causes all sorts of unwelcome and overwhelming emotions. Therapist assigned me to write down ...

I'm supposed to write more about my therapy stuff tonight, but I don't want to. Tonight I want to be on a warm beach, listening to...

During his interview, my father discussed with me the extent of mental and physical disability suffered by the person who molested me. Brent...