A few of my favorite things...

NOT!!!

On my trip to a public bathroom this afternoon, I experienced the following:
1. A drain grate edged with mysterious green, the source of which I refuse to contemplate.
2. Paper toilet seat covers which shredded as they were removed from the dispenser--completely ineffective.
3. An automatic toilet which flushed before I sat down.
4. Nail clippings on the floor of the adjacent stall (toe? finger? who knows?).
5. An automatic toilet which flushed while I was sitting.
6. A cute toddler's face peering at me beneath the door of the stall (while Mom whispered, "Stop that!").
7. An enthusiastic automatic toilet which spewed while flushing, after I stopped sitting.
8. Empty paper towel dispensers and overflowing trash cans (yay for wiping hands on pants).
9. An older couple in their 60s sitting at a table near the restroom, making googoo eyes at each other while the man slid his hand up inside of the woman's thigh.

Probably there's a tenth one, but at that point my eyeballs could stand no more and I just stopped looking and made a beeline for the exit.

It could have been worse. I might have accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet, or lost my shoe while walking near the green grate or not had pants on which to wipe my hands. Or I might have been the older lady having her thigh felt up...that would definitely have been worse...

I need to stay away from public restrooms for awhile.