I don't like ice cream.

This morning I sat in a square of sunshine on my living room floor and ate salted caramel gelato for breakfast. I did this because:
1. It's not good for me.
2. I'm lactose intolerant so it's REALLY not good for me.
3. It tasted good.
4. I wanted it.
5. I'm an adult and I don't have a mom to tell me I can't eat ice cream for breakfast.

I tell people I don't like ice cream. This isn't untrue--I don't really like it. But sometimes I want it because everyone else in the world seems to love it and I feel I'm a bit of a freak because I don't. I've learned to choose wisely, however, when I try ice cream to see if I still don't like it. I choose a variety that is very expensive, high quality, and includes ingredients I like outside of the ice cream (like nuts or salted caramel), and I don't eat very much of it. I've learned to stop after my third bite.

So, to be accurate, this morning I sat in a square of sunshine on my living room floor and ate three bites of salted caramel gelato for breakfast.

Then I ate an apple. I think this is a very good breakfast. Darrin doesn't. So I made myself a lactose-free protein shake and drank half of it. Protein shakes do not taste as good as apples. Or gelato.

DJ moved in with us last year so he could save money to go back to school, and recover from his knee surgery. He went to one part-time semester of school, and also got his EMT certification. Now he just wants to be an EMT. No more school. But EMT jobs are scarce.

Adam has been telling us since he was 17 that he was moving out soon and going to college in Australia. He's been looking at apartments and going to school. But last year he began having migraines--3-5 weekly. We were alarmed. He was missing a great deal of school and felt miserable. So I took Adam to a neurologist who prescribed an epilepsy medication. From the day he took the first dose, Adam has not had a migraine. However, he did experience debilitating fatigue, fogginess in his brain, and a complete personality change. Once again, we were alarmed. Adam is now medication-free and migraine-free, and slowly returning back to normal. But his grades during the first year of college were terrible. Adam petitioned the scholarship department, explained the situation, and his scholarship was reinstated for this year, but last semester wasn't stellar. Adam now tells us that he has no plans to move away from home. He's sticking around for awhile until he can figure out how to manage money, keep a good job, and not fail at life.

Tabitha planned to live at home for a year, complete gen-eds, apply to the nursing program in the fall of 2014, and leave home to attend said nursing program at that time. She's been working and going to school full-time and last semester was pretty tense as she tried to figure out how to fit 25-30 work hours, 16 credit hours, homework, and sleep into her life. She did it, but just barely. Now I understand that the current life plan has changed. She's not leaving home in the fall, she's staying another year and completing an Associates degree in psychology.

Darrin and I have a bucket list of things we will do when our children are gone. I want to do those things.

Don't get me wrong. I love having these kiddos at home. But it's kind of like living with three roommates who haven't figured out how to be grown-ups yet. And they don't like it when I say, "You're adults. Stop asking me to intervene in disagreements. Clean up after yourselves. Don't take it personally if you have to make meals, do laundry, and pay for your upkeep. We'll help, but you need to learn to be your own person."

Nor do they like it when I remind them that the upstairs bathroom is not their exclusive property, but is also our guest bathroom so they need to keep it clean and keep toilet paper on the proper bathroom appliance.

Darrin says I'm just feeling cranky lately, and he's right. I actually love having these three amazing people living with me. But solitude has been more than just a little bit appealing in the past few weeks, and it's rare in our house. DJ keeps to himself, so I actually don't mind it when he's home. But Adam wants to talk constantly and expects me to respond, and even though Tabitha just wants to talk (no response required), that can become a little trying, as well. Adam and Tabitha find me no matter where I go, and they always have something to say. Darrin says I'll miss this when they're gone. Probably he's right.

Darrin asked me yesterday what bugs me so much about having my children at home right now. I thought for a moment, then I said, "Their rooms are scary messy and they're too old now, for me to tell them to clean them."

I really do think that's the problem. And when your kids are too old to be bossed around anymore, you just have to sit in the sun and eat three bites of gelato. . .