Last night at the store

Me: I thought you were going to stay in the electronics while Tabitha and I shop for bras. You said you don't like the lingerie department.
Adam: You should come see the cool shoes I found.
Me: I can't leave Tabitha in the dressing room. She won't know where we are.
Adam: They're the coolest dancing shoes.
Me: What? Why are you shopping for dancing shoes?

(Tabitha returns and gives me a full report about how the four bras she just tried on fit--or don't fit--which is rather comical considering there's not a lot to put inside the bras)

Adam: What does it feel like to wear a bra?
Tabitha: When we get home you can try on one of mine. Then you'll know.
Adam: I don't want to wear a bra.
Tabitha: Trying on is different from wearing.
Adam: I don't want to put on a bra. I just want to know what it feels like.
Tabitha: Well, I can't tell you. It's something you have to experience.

(Adam considers for a moment)

Adam: I guess it's okay if I don't know. Can we go look at the dancing shoes now?
Me: Adam, are you feeling okay?
Adam: Not really, no.
Me: What's going on?
Adam: Well, I have all this energy, but at the same time I kind of feel like I'm going to pass out or puke. And I have all these weird thoughts in my head--like, I'm wondering right now what it would be like to lick that hanger, and my hair feels weird.
Me: Is your ear hurting?
Adam: Oh no. I took a pain pill.
Me: When?
Adam: At dinner. Oh! Look! My hands won't stop shaking! That's kind of funny and scary at the same time.

(Long pause)

Me: Adam, before the one you took at dinner, when did you last take a pain pill?
Adam: About an hour after school.
Me: Which was about an hour before dinner...

(Long pause as Adam puts two and two together)

Adam: I took too many.
Me: Yes.
Adam: Will I die?
Me: No. But I think we'll go home now.
Adam: But you haven't seen my dancing shoes.
Tabitha: No, but when we get home, if you're really good in the car, I'll let you try on my bras.
Me: Tabitha, stop it. This isn't funny.
Tabitha: But you said he wouldn't die.
Me: Okay, let's go now.

(On the way home)

Adam: What's going to happen now?
Me: When we get home I'll call your doctor and see if we have anything to worry about.
Adam: Will he make me go to the hospital?
Me: I don't know. Let's ask the doctor.
Adam: Will they pump my stomach?
Me: I doubt it. That would do no good, considering the pills are no longer there.
Adam: Will they give me shots?
Me: Adam, I don't know. We'll ask the doctor, okay? My guess is that there won't be a problem, you'll just feel odd for about six hours.
Adam: Who's Odd?
Me: What?
Adam: You said I could feel him. (to Tabitha in an undertone: "I'm hilarious.")
Me: Adam, just stop talking, okay.
Adam: I'm really bummed that you didn't come see my dancing shoes. I was wearing them in the shoe department and showing people my moves. They thought I was really good. They laughed a lot.
Me: I'll bet they did.
Adam: What do I have to do when we get home?
Tabitha: Try on bras.
Me: Tabitha, I'm taking the bras back if you don't stop it. Adam, I think you'll go to bed.
Adam: After I eat, right? Because I'm really hungry now.
Me: You said you felt like puking.
Adam: I do. But I also feel like eating. And dancing.
Tabitha: And trying on bras.
Me: Tabitha!
Tabitha: Fine, I'll stop.
Me: I can't wait until we're home.
Tabitha: Me neither. I think we're going to have lots of fun.