Cleanliness is next to godliness

Me: Adam, go get in the shower, please.

(Adam and DJ, simultaneously)
Adam: I just did!
DJ: He just did!

DJ: That's why I can't shower! He used all the hot water!
Me: He didn't either. We still have hot water.
DJ: No, we don't. You just showered, too.
Me: I know. But we still have hot water.

DJ (to Adam): Was there hot water when you finished?
Adam: There's still hot water.

DJ: But probably not very much. AAAAUUUGGHHH! I'm not going to get to take a whole shower!!
Me: Then please take a half-shower. I'd rather have you half-clean than not showered at all.
DJ: That's not funny.
Me: Yes, it is. I'm hilarious.
DJ: No, you're not.
Adam: Actually, she kind of is.
DJ: Brown-noser.
Adam: Half-showerer.
DJ: That's not a word.
Adam: Mom likes me best.
DJ: So...I can drive.