Short Cuts

Me: Adam, this afternoon while I'm at work, I'd like you to wash a batch of dark clothes. You have to put the soap in first, let it dissolve for a minute in the warm water, then put in the clothes and switch the temperature back to cold. Please repeat back to me what I just said.

Adam: Put the clothes in the washer. Switch it to cold.

Me: What did I say before that?

Adam: You're going to work this afternoon.

Me: Let's try this again. Start the washer on warm. What did I just say?

Adam: Start the washer on warm.

Me: Do you know how to do that?

Adam: Um...use the knobby things?

Me: Good. Add soap. What did I just say?

Adam: Add soap.

Me: When there are about three inches of warm water in the washer, add the clothes and switch it to cold with the knobby things. What did I say?

Adam: When there are about three inches of warm water in the washer, add the clothes and switch it to cold with the knobby things.

Me: And when are you supposed to do this?

Adam: While you're at work. But I think I'll do it right now.

Me: Okay.


Moments later Adam and I hear some horrible banging noises coming from the washer.


Adam: That's bad, isn't it?

Me: Yeah. I think so.


I go to the washer and lift the lid. The equivalent of three batches of laundry has been stuffed into the washer drum.


Me: Adam, I think you put in too many clothes.

Adam: There's a limit?

Me: Yes. Apparently, if you overstuff the washer, it makes scary banging noises and could possibly break.

Adam: I'm sorry. I don't want to break the washer. It just seemed silly to do lots of batches if we could wash everything in one load.

Me: Good logic, bad spatial awareness.

Adam: Yeah. It was pretty tough getting everything to fit inside.

Me: Unload about two-thirds of what's in there into the sink, please. You'll have to wash them later. What did I say?

Adam: Unload about two-thirds of what's in there into the sink. But they're all wet and soapy and weird. I don't want to touch them.

Me: Sorry. That's what needs to happen next.

Adam: You're not going to do this for me, are you.

Me: Nope.

Adam: You're making me do this so I won't overload the washer again, aren't you.

Me: Good call, Adam. Is it going to work?

Adam: I think so.

Me: Good to hear. Thanks for your help.

Adam: Hey Mom--just so you know, I've been reading some of your parenting books so I'll know how you're going to manipulate me.

Me: Oh?

Adam: Yeah. Except--they kind of work, don't they?

Me: Sometimes.

Adam: Huh. Will you tell me the times when they don't work?

Me: Probably not.

Adam: I didn't think so.