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Thursday, May 8, 2014

Spring has sprung a leak.

Today I was asked to guest lecture in a middle school choir class. The choir is finished with performances and competitions, but there are three weeks of school left. So the teacher offered four topics to the class--each student could choose one. They'll have two lectures on the topics, one day for independent research, and then they'll write a short research paper or take a test, depending on which topic they choose. I'm lecturing on music theory.

When I was hired to do this, I assumed I would end up with between four and six students. Theory is no not a hot topic among middle schoolers. I walked into class today and found twelve boys waiting for me. That was a bit of a shock. Not only were they ready to listen and learn (seriously--I'm talking about MIDDLE SCHOOL), but they participated and did all the activities I had planned. I'm not quite sure what to think about this.

Change of subject

I've spent the past decade resolving much of what was causing me pain, emotionally and physically. I'm ready to take a break. I may always deal with anxiety and panic attacks. I'm okay with that. Most of the time I just wait them out. I know what they are, and while they're uncomfortable, they're not life threatening. Some of the panic attacks this week have caused me some difficulty as they were accompanied by nausea, but again, I know how to manage them and they will pass. I've been lucky enough to find someone to talk me through them both times. That won't always be the case. I'm okay with that, too.

I'm going to do some traveling this summer. Darrin's aunt has been asking me to come visit for a few years. I've declined because she lives in the New York City area and I've not been willing to go there until I could manage the PTSD symptoms more easily. I can do that now. I'll be spending about ten days in that neck of the woods during the first part of July. Then I'll be going with Tabitha to visit some Utah friends. I also have a week planned in a very remote part of Wyoming. I've invited my husband and children to join me there. I also invited Tolkien Boy, but it doesn't look like that will happen. Boo and family might possibly make it for a weekend, but there's room for more. Message me if you're interested in spending a day or two in a place with little phone service and dubious internet connection. We'll talk.

I may also be traveling a bit with my parents. I have a couple of nephews getting married this summer and would like to attend those weddings, but my car is becoming less roadworthy. I've put a large number of miles on it since it was purchased seven years ago. Darrin is convinced he can fix whatever ails it. Until he cries uncle, there will be no talk of a new vehicle. So we'll limp along and hope for the best. There are worse things.

Next week marks my last performance for this school year. I'll be accompanying solos at a festival Tuesday morning. We start at 8 a.m. and I'm guessing I'll be finished by noon. I've talked to the Big Guy and told him I'm expecting a pristinely gorgeous day, because I intend to celebrate by disappearing into the mountains that afternoon. He's the only one I've told (except for you, Brozy, because you read this). I'm contemplating keeping it that way. Otherwise I have offspring who will decide they need to keep me company. I'm desperately wishing for some solitude.

I began the dandelion eradication process this week in my garden. It makes me sad, but I have basil that needs to be transplanted and soon there will be tomatoes and a variety of flowers waiting for a place. The dandelions have been allowed to bloom for a couple of months, which, Darrin assures me, is long enough to ensure that they have sown enough seeds in my lawn and garden to continue propagation for the eternities. Darrin does not love my dandelions.

The songbirds that have taken up residence in my front and back yards are lovely. I might be the only one who enjoys listening to them at 4:30 a.m., but since I'm up anyway, it's nice to have the company. Tabitha says she would like them better if they would sleep a few more hours. I'll take them any time of day.

Today was one of those days when the weather simply could not make up its mind. It started out very cool, with temperatures in the mid-30s and progressed to light rain which turned into weird, tiny hailstones. Thunder grumbled throughout the afternoon and the wind put in an appearance for a couple of hours. Sunshine and snow occurred simultaneously and the high temperature ended up being in the 50s. I just have to say, it's difficult to know what to wear on days like this. It makes me want to stay home and read a book all day.


  1. That's impressive that your middle school students are so studious. I hope you get your solitary celebration. : )

    I am tempted to invite myself to join your gathering. We will see what the summer looks like, though.

    I have been doing a lot of gardening lately, and it makes me think of you. I planted cosmos today and tangerine sage yesterday. I wish I could share them with you.

  2. It makes me laugh when you say gardening makes you think of me--because my gardening method is: 1. Buy plants. 2. Put them in the ground. 3. If they live, you have a garden. 4. If they don't, repeat steps 1-3.

    As always, it would be wonderful if you could come, but if you can't, we'll see you when we're in UT in July. Yay! :)

  3. Ooooh! I am also living in the NYC area, and I've been reading your blog for so long, maybe a meet-up might be possible...? If you have time and would want to, obvs.

    I am likewise impressed with your theory-loving middle schoolers.

    1. I would love that! I also have no way to communicate that to you because your blog is private and your profile has no email, so I'm hoping you get this and we can connect when I'm in your neck of the woods. :)

  4. Sam--That is largely my process, too. : ) But my garden shop has lots of beautiful and unusual lovely things. And they make me think of you, and that makes me happy.

    1. What a wonderful compliment! Thank you!