Paying Tribute to Tolkien Boy on the Day of His Birth

I have been remiss in my birthday tributes to important people in my life--partly because I've been missing birthdays completely. However, because I'm awake, I believe I will take time to acknowledge Tolkien Boy who was born on this day. I've known him just shy of seven years now. These are things we have said during the time I have known him:

9/8/2006

Tolkien Boy: I think you're charming. But I hardly know you at all.

me: No. Very few people do.

9/20/06

me: Are you my mother?

Tolkien Boy: I am not your mother. I am a snort.
me: I love that book.

Tolkien Boy: So do I.

2/1/07

me: So, according to Tolkien Boy...

1. Even if life gets in the way, it's not out of line for me to remind you that I miss you.

2. Friendships are valuable enough to fight for--to make time for.

3. It's probably not the best idea to encourage friends to disappear, just because I'm afraid they might.

4. You're not planning to disappear, and neither am I.

Did I miss anything on my "TB says" list?

Tolkien Boy: 5. Tolkien Boy loves you a great, great deal.

me: That's the best one. 

10/15/08

me: When do you get to go barefoot?

Tolkien Boy: Nights after 10. Usually. And Fridays and Saturdays.

me: That's not enough. I think you need more barefoot time.

Tolkien Boy: I'll quit my job post haste. :)

4/19/09

me: I have a secret desire to be in a pie fight someday. 

Tolkien Boy: You'd look good in a pie fight. 

me: I think I would last five minutes. Then I would want a shower desperately. 

Tolkien Boy: pie shower

me: Ick.

6/22/10

Tolkien Boy: Oh, well, I'm not trying to avoid the question, just recognizing that I'm maundering

me: I know. I'm just reminding you that should you wish to share the maundering, you have a captive audience.

Tolkien Boy: Hardly captive, but I appreciate it

me: You aren't the captor, you are the captivator.

Tolkien Boy: lol I so love your turns of phrase

me: Very important. I should hate to be boring.

Tolkien Boy: I wonder if I am

me: Are you bored with you?

Tolkien Boy: no

me: Then I would say you are not.

2/14/11

me: Okay, but Tolkien Boy, for future reference, don't start a conversation loving me madly and end by apologizing. Just leave it at the loving part--okay?

Tolkien Boy: dude

me: Did you just call me "dude"?

Tolkien Boy.: I love you so much

  words

me: Now you may apologize.

Tolkien Boy.: do not describe my loving

2/15/11

me: Tolkien Boy, are you sure you weren't drinking last night?

Tolkien Boy.: You know, I wonder about that too. I took an energy drink, and it really made me weird. It was a gift from a friend a while ago--near my birthday. I'll have to look at it. Maybe it was alcoholic. I thought it was caffeinated...she said she got it for me so I could get all my diet cokes out of the way at the beginning of the day. It's called something weird...loco or something like that

me: Four Loko?

Tolkien Boy: That sounds familiar. Is that a thing?

me: Four main ingredients:

Tolkien Boy: it tasted awfu. I only had half the can and then tried to sleep

me: Alcohol, caffeine, taurine, guarana

Tolkien Boy: you're kidding

me: Nope

Tolkien Boy: oh my goodness

me: Up to 24 proof.

Tolkien Boy: wow

um

wow

processing this

huh

I guess that would explain a lot, then

good grief

I thought it was just an energy drink

me: Also explains why it didn't really put a dent in that migraine.

It's been banned on several college campuses. Produces unexplained injuries and blackouts.

Tolkien Boy: wow.I'm glad I only had half the can

wow

well

I guess I was drinking

huh

2/27/12

Tolkien Boy: I'm writing a poem.

me: What is your poem about?

Tolkien Boy: Hipsters
me: Why?

Tolkien Boy: It occurred to me that someone should.

me: Okay. What are hipsters? Actually, I guess I'm asking this: There are many definitions of hipsters; which are you using?

Tolkien Boy: The general fashion/attitude one. Would you like to hear it?

me: Yes.

Tolkien Boy: "Hipsters, terribles enfants ,

invented very ugly pants."

me: Is that the end?

Tolkien Boy: Yup!

me: Well, all things considered, it might be more than they deserve.

5/8/13

me: Does it look odd to you when you see your reflection?

Tolkien Boy: Well, I'm never sure. Sometimes I seem quite attractive, other times I look positively monstrous. I've never had a good even attitude about my looks.

me: Well, if it helps at all, I rather love the way you look. And I never see monstrous anything about you--interior or exterior. 

Tolkien Boy: That's very nice of you--thank you. I worry about it too much sometimes. Fortunately, though, it's not an obsession.

me: I'm glad you're not obsessed. And just so you know, I don't say things to be nice. If I didn't actually feel that way, I wouldn't say it. I'd say, "Wow, that sounds awful. I hope everything evens out for you one day."

Tolkien Boy: lol 
 I would know what that meant, you know.

me: Yes. But I assume you prefer honesty. 

Tolkien Boy: Only when it comes from perfectly charming people. :)

me: Speaking of charming people, I saved a message from you that you sent on my birthday in 2008 because you sang me the birthday song. And I accidentally deleted it. Now I have no more Birthday Song from Charming Tolkien Boy on my phone. It's sad. It has been saved for almost five whole years. 

Tolkien Boy: I can send you another.

me: I would like that. Then I can save it for five more years.

Happy birthday, Tolkien Boy. We've had nearly seven years of continuous conversation--moments that have made me laugh out loud, and some that have made me cry a little. I would trade those moments for nothing in this world. You've blessed my life and I love you.