A few days ago Adam borrowed the scan/fax program on my computer for some documents he needed to send to school. When he closed the program he didn't leave my computer. Instead, I heard him say, "Uh...Mom...what IS this?"
"This" was a page I'd left open. Classwork from a Calc II class I've been taking this summer. And there were tabs from a genetics and a writing class I'd left open, as well. I explained that I get bored sometimes so I take online classes. Adam said, "Mom, this is what we've been talking about."
I had no idea what that meant, so he explained: "You do things, or things happen to you and you never tell anyone. Don't you think we should know you're taking online classes?"
I said, no. I had no reason to believe anyone would be interested in that. Besides, I'm a little embarrassed that I get bored and fill my time with geekdom, and I'm not excited to share that with my kids. Adam said, "Is this what you do when you can't sleep?"
He's not stupid. I suppose I could work then, but when everyone's sleeping and I can't, working seems to add insult to injury. I'd rather do something interesting that I enjoy. Adam said, "Genetics and creative writing I understand. Those are kind of cool. But--calculus?"
I like it. I always have. And I feel no compulsion to explain myself to my son who has the luxury of being able to sleep for hours at a time. So I didn't.
But here I am, doing my calculus assignments, reading about gene dominance, and thinking about what I'll write next, and beneath it all I'm wondering if I'll ever get to sleep tonight. So I think I might do something different. I have a book about fairies waiting for me to finish it.