Note to Commentors

Just thought you might like to know, I'd love to have you call, but I'll know it's you if you ask for George. Silly people--of course, that's not really his name.

Phone Conversation 7

Caller: Hey, we've got a lot of water backed up here. I need someone to come out and look at it.
Me: Okay. I'm really quite good at looking at things. I'll be out running errands in about an hour and I'll stop by then, if that's convenient for you.
Long pause...
Caller: Is this George's Plumbing?
Me: No, it isn't. You know, I was just talking with a friend of mine. He says that friendship is fairly easy, it only requires a little bit of thought now and then. I don't necessarily agree with that, because I think a good friendship requires regular maintenance. What do you think?
Caller: Well, mostly my friends and I just go drink on the weekends. But if I need anything, I know they're there for me.
Me: That must be a comforting thought.
Caller: Yeah, it is.
Me: So, do you ever just get together and talk?
Caller: We go camping sometimes.
Me: Hmmm...I'm not a great camper, but I can see how some people might like it.
Long pause...
Caller: I should probably call George's Plumbing.
Me: Well, you did say you had water backed up, so I think that's a good idea. Do you still want me to come look at it?
Caller: You can come look at me.
Me: Thank you. I'll pencil that in on my errand list.
Caller: See you later, then.
Me: Good-bye.

Phone Conversation 6

me: I just got ANOTHER PHONE CALL FOR GEORGE'S PLUMBING!!!!!
Tolkien Boy: :D
me: That makes six in the last two days.
TB: Your conversations, recorded, are hilarious.
me: I thought it was funny, too, at first, so I was messing with them. Now I'm getting tired of it. This is the latest conversation:
Me: Hello
Man: Um, is this George's Plumbing and Heating?
Me: No.
Man: Oh. I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay.
Man: um...bye.

Perhaps I should start a new career. I'd be a good plumber, maybe.
TB: Please don't. The thought of you as a plumber is almost overwhelming.
me: Why?
TB: You're far too talented as it is. If you could do plumbing, I'd have no potential skills to bring to the friendship.
me: Wait--friendship requires skills?
TB: No, I'm kidding. All that friendship requires is a little bit of thought, now and then.
me: I completely disagree. I think of friendship all the time. Nonetheless, it still challenges me.

Phone Conversation 5

Me: Hello, you have not reached George's Plumbing. This is not his number, it's mine. Please hang up, recheck the number in the phone book, and dial again.
Caller: Ummm...okay...but I'd rather talk to you, if you don't mind.
Me: Oh, hi Mom. I'm getting so used to the wrong number phone calls, I'm not even checking the caller ID anymore. Not that it would matter on this particular phone. We can't see the readout anymore.
Mom: So, do I have to call back or is it okay if we talk now.
Me: Well, I don't like giving special treatment to anyone, but since you birthed me out, I suppose I can make an exception just this once.
Mom: Sam, you're a little bit disgusting.
Me: I know, but funny. I can hear you laughing.
Mom: It's a combination of bad taste and insanity, something I seem to have passed on to you.
Me: No question about it. Thanks, Mom.

Phone Conversation 4

Me: Hello?
Caller: My kitchen floor is flooding.
Me: Wow, that must be frustrating.
Caller: Yes, will you send someone out? My address is: xxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx.
Me: I'm the only one here right now, and I can't come.
Caller: Oh, it's lunchtime. Okay, I'll keep mopping, but will you send someone as soon as they get back from lunch?
Me: Actually, I don't expect anyone until 3:00. That's usually when they get home from school.
Caller: School?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Isn't this George's Plumbing?
Me: No.
Caller: Oh.
Me: Sorry I can't be of more help. Good luck with that kitchen.
Caller: Good-bye.
Me: Good-bye.

Phone Conversation 3

Caller: Hey, is George there?
Me: There is no George at this number.
Caller: This isn't George's Plumbing?
Me: Nope.
Caller: I must have the wrong number.
Me: Yes.
Caller: Can you tell me what this number is?
Me: You dialed it, you would know better that I.
Caller: You don't know your own number?
Me: What makes you think I live here?
Caller: Do you?
Me: Yes.
Caller: So, you don't know your own number?
Me: I do. But I don't give it out to strangers over the phone.
Caller: Oh. Good idea.
Me: I think so. Good-bye.
Caller: Good-bye.

Phone Conversation 2

Caller: Is this George's Plumbing?
Me: No, it isn't, but that does seem to be the question of the day.
Caller: What?
Me: You have the wrong number.
Caller: Oh, sorry. Do you have the right number?
Me: I have the right number for me.
Caller: What?
Me: No, I don't have the number for George's Plumbing. However, I'm assuming it's similar to this one, so maybe if you just start calling, but change one or two numbers, eventually you'll get the right place.
Caller: What?
Me: Or, you could look it up again in the phone book.
Caller: Where do you think I got this number?
Me: Off a restroom wall?
Caller: What?
Me: Good-bye.
Caller: Good-bye.

Phone Conversation

Caller: Is this George's Plumbing?
Me: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Caller: You're sure?
Me: Last time I checked, yes.
Caller: This is the number in the phone book for George's Plumbing.
Me: What a coincidence. It seems to be my number as well.
Long Pause....
Caller: Could I talk to George?
Me: I suppose you could, if he lived or worked here, which he doesn't.
Caller: Do you have his number?
Me: No. Do you?
Caller: No. Do you need to call him?
Me: You never know. I might need a plumber. I'll go check my faucets. Thanks for calling. Good-bye.
Caller: Good-bye.