Beautiful World

1. Sleep beyond 5:30 a.m., even if I didn't go to sleep until 3:00 a.m. 2. Breathe while running the seventh mile. 3. Practice two hours...

1. Stupid talks in Sacrament Meeting (I'm going to Hell)--the fourth Sunday this month that the topic was America the Beautiful. And whi...

Jen: Hey Sam, this is Jen. Me: Wow, I didn't recognize your number. I'm glad you called. It's been awhile. Jen: Ummm... not that...

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. --Henry Louis Mencken 1. My experience is similar to yours an...

I just finished cleaning out my seminary room. I was overwhelmed with memories of joyful mornings with beautiful young men and women, wonder...

1. Tabitha made enough oatmeal for everyone in the entire Queerosphere, then insisted that she would eat all of it. I've never seen anyo...

1. A couple of weeks ago I started receiving mysterious letters from the IRS. Now, while I'm scrupulous about my clients' tax deadli...

1. A red fox. It ran across my path while I was jogging. I watched for a few moments. I love foxes. 2. A Mountain Canary. They're so bea...

1. My bishop met with me for an update on my mental health. I assured him I'm not as crazy as my doctors say I am. 2. He told me that my...

DJ: SICK!! That guy just checked you out and smiled at you! Me: Yes, so? DJ: SICK!! You smiled back at him! Me: DJ, people look at each othe...

My counselor instructed me to journal about my experiences as I allow myself to feel emotions. She told me to be explicit--to talk about the...

Yesterday I made my decision. I will do as my counselor has said. I met with a couple of friends and had a long talk with Darrin. I suppose ...

Her: Would it be safe to say that you feel, no matter how much work you've done, you keep ending up in the same place? Me: Maybe. Her: W...

I have a counseling appointment today. I've been trying to understand why I don't like this therapist. I thought at first, that I wa...

WARNING: Possibly sexually explicit (probably not, but when I post that warning, I find the Google searches that show up on my visitor stat...

Last night I was supposed to check into a hotel and come home this morning. For whatever reason, around 10:30 last night, I just wanted to g...

I found AtP's blog in April 2006. I read for about a month, then I finally began commenting. In general, if I comment more than once on...

It's been almost a week since my last therapy visit. I haven't talked about it here because it upsets me. I recorded some of our con...

Darrin and I met AtP, Jason (of AnotherOther fame), Leslie, and their baby in Provo. I have to add a little background here. Jason is the fi...

Even though Darrin told AtP Saturday night that I'd make him late for church the next day, I was ready long before he was. We drove to P...

Friday: Darrin and I left later than we expected, but our seven hour trip only took six. I'm not asking Darrin why (he drove), I was jus...

On Easter I wrote a post about Christ--just like everyone else, I suppose. But my thoughts at that time have not left me. When I wrote the p...

This is dedicated to Elbow.

Almost exactly one year and one month ago, my life as an obscure blogger came to an end. I had several reasons for starting a blog: 1. I was...

This evening Darrin and I had dinner with three other couples--all MOM's. I, of course was the token lesbian, Darrin the token straight ...

I spent yesterday visiting people. For the first time since last December, Darrin is with me. It's a different dynamic with him beside m...

Okay, I'm sorry, really, but I think I've always felt this way. I know for many people it's not funny at all. But it makes me la...

I took my daughter to get a physical today. She is twelve. There are new vaccinations available for her. Hepatitis A, which she got. Tetanus...

This is the original 1969 Sesame Street version. I love muppets. If they were real, I would be one.

I plant a garden every year. Actually, I go buy plants (mostly herbs, flowers, and tomatoes) and put them in the ground. If they grow, I hav...

It seems that after my lovely vacation in the Behavioral Health Unit, there are some hoops to jump through to get just the right therapist/p...

I awoke this morning feeling adventurous, so after making an appointment for my annual physical (which I'll probably cancel just as I ha...

A friend told me yesterday that it has been agonizing to watch me claw my way through all the conflicting emotions I feel. She said she can ...

My sister is a teacher finishing up her degree and is running this survey. She needs a large number of participants in order for it to be us...

I have been reading, now, for over a year, blogs about men feeling a desperate need to connect with other men, to give and receive affection...

Actually, I'm finished with swearing and there isn't anymore, but this is a continuation of the previous post, so I'm keeping th...