Beautiful World

And so, in about three weeks I will see Therapist once again, and hopefully he will be able to help me put myself back together. Please stop...

I will be honest; there are parts of my life that I don't believe I will ever understand. There are times I want to kick and scream and ...

Once upon a time a young Samantha met a young Darrin. Samantha thought he was very nice. Darrin fell in love with Samantha's young frien...

This time last year I was skipping around the Queerosphere , leaving comments (sometimes snarky , sometimes sympathetic, always profound...o...

This post is dedicated to Ambrosia, iwonder , and Jason Lockhart , and you should go to their blogs and say hello to them--please leave a ...

This post is dedicated to Ambrosia, iwonder , and Jason Lockhart , and you should go to their blogs and say hello to them--please leave a ...

This made laugh so hard (but what else would one expect from the "Spawn of Satan")!

I finally talked with my dad today. I explained to him the problems I'm having with current therapy assignments--specifically the fragme...

Dear DJ, "Felunica", "horfa", and "fwic" are not words. It does not matter if they "roll off the tongue...

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I experienced something prior to my 12 th birthday which left me feeling bereft of anything human. ...

I was talking with a friend (married) on the phone a couple of nights ago. We were discussing what we would do if we ever found ourselves sp...

I did not want to go to the store yesterday. Bad things happen when I go to the store when I don't want to. Bad thing number one: A larg...

1. Do not talk on the phone to Tolkien Boy until 1:00 a.m. the night before. 2. Be upset at geriatric father-in-law for scheduling his fligh...

1 Corinthians 12 "If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? "And if...

Warning: If you are not a parent, if you are a male who experiences SSA (read "gay"), if you are uncomfortable talking about sex (...

Today... ...I will not think about feeling. ...I will not worry about analyzing myself. ...I will not acknowledge things that hurt. ...I wil...

I've been researching this for a few months. It was an assignment Therapist gave me before he left. It's something very difficult fo...

It's not about appearing perfect. It's not about having to be right. It's not about pleasing people. It's not about competit...

There are times when I feel so tired. This week I made yet another trip to Utah. I took my Father-in-law (who has been visiting us) to see h...

1. Sleep beyond 5:30 a.m., even if I didn't go to sleep until 3:00 a.m. 2. Breathe while running the seventh mile. 3. Practice two hours...

1. Stupid talks in Sacrament Meeting (I'm going to Hell)--the fourth Sunday this month that the topic was America the Beautiful. And whi...

Jen: Hey Sam, this is Jen. Me: Wow, I didn't recognize your number. I'm glad you called. It's been awhile. Jen: Ummm... not that...

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. --Henry Louis Mencken 1. My experience is similar to yours an...

I just finished cleaning out my seminary room. I was overwhelmed with memories of joyful mornings with beautiful young men and women, wonder...

1. Tabitha made enough oatmeal for everyone in the entire Queerosphere, then insisted that she would eat all of it. I've never seen anyo...

1. A couple of weeks ago I started receiving mysterious letters from the IRS. Now, while I'm scrupulous about my clients' tax deadli...

1. A red fox. It ran across my path while I was jogging. I watched for a few moments. I love foxes. 2. A Mountain Canary. They're so bea...

1. My bishop met with me for an update on my mental health. I assured him I'm not as crazy as my doctors say I am. 2. He told me that my...

DJ: SICK!! That guy just checked you out and smiled at you! Me: Yes, so? DJ: SICK!! You smiled back at him! Me: DJ, people look at each othe...

My counselor instructed me to journal about my experiences as I allow myself to feel emotions. She told me to be explicit--to talk about the...

Yesterday I made my decision. I will do as my counselor has said. I met with a couple of friends and had a long talk with Darrin. I suppose ...

Her: Would it be safe to say that you feel, no matter how much work you've done, you keep ending up in the same place? Me: Maybe. Her: W...

I have a counseling appointment today. I've been trying to understand why I don't like this therapist. I thought at first, that I wa...

WARNING: Possibly sexually explicit (probably not, but when I post that warning, I find the Google searches that show up on my visitor stat...

Last night I was supposed to check into a hotel and come home this morning. For whatever reason, around 10:30 last night, I just wanted to g...

I found AtP's blog in April 2006. I read for about a month, then I finally began commenting. In general, if I comment more than once on...