Add to Technorati Favorites

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The World Has Gone Crazy

It all started with Lydia. She announced at our last lunch date that she's decided to date men. I've known her for more than fifteen years. In that time I believe I've seen her in five "committed" relationships, and she's also fallen in love with a straight girl whom she attempted to help "switch teams." It didn't work, obviously, or Lydia would now be in committed relationship number six.

I stared at her. "Okay."

"No really. I've started already." Lydia seemed very smug.

"Why?" I asked. 

"I want to have sex again," she answered. "And I've heard that most guys want to have sex. I figure, eventually, if I date enough of them, I'll find the one who wants to take me to bed."

"Are you listening to yourself? This is nuts!"

"No. It makes perfect sense. I want to have sex. I don't want a relationship. I don't fall in love with men--I fall in love with women, so having sex with a man is the right solution."

"Lydia, I'm not even going to begin to tell you how unhealthy this is. Just be careful."

"Good." Lydia leaned toward me, "Now, Straight Girl Who is Married, tell me what I'm supposed to do when the date is over and we're sitting in my driveway. Am I supposed to ask him in?"

"What would you do if he was a woman?"

"Kiss her."

"I'd suggest you try that first."

I'm a little uncomfortable in the "Straight Girl Who is Married" role. But, really, it's best if that's how Lydia sees me, especially since she's acting like a cat in heat. Altogether, this was a pretty disconcerting conversation. I'm not happy that Lydia's decided to be promiscuous with both genders. This puts her at risk for a number of physical things, but also will wreak havoc on her emotional health. However, she's older than I am, so I rarely say more than my characteristic, "Be careful."

The enormity of her asking me for advice is enough--but watching her go from trying to "convert" her latest straight girl, to running after men, has left me more than a little confused. 

As of now, I'm sort of avoiding her. I think that's the best plan until I can get my bearings. Besides, hearing about Lydia's sex life ("I fall in love with women, but I want to have sex with men") is a little beyond my comprehension.

And honestly, it shouldn't be...right? Who better to talk to her than me, since I'm sort of living her dream (not really, but sort of)? But I still say the world has gone crazy and it's all her fault


  1. Oddly enough, I fall in love with men, and wish I could have sex with women (though I don't, because I'm married).