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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Okay--here's the thing--

Lately...people...sort of...really...bug me...

A lot.

I recognize that by saying this here I'll chase off any chance readers and never become blogfamous--because really, that was my goal in the beginning: Say millions of incredibly personal words, reveal things I wouldn't even admit to myself, and make it so whenever I meet people they think: "Oh, yeah, she's that freak from blogland who talks about everything real people hide from." Yup. Goal achieved.

However, since I really don't have a blogging goal--I just do it--I shall continue my tirade because THIS IS MY BLOG!!!

It's not like anyone's doing anything to aggravate me. And it's not like I'm being ignored, because if anyone inquired as to how I'm doing right now, I'd probably dodge the question anyway. I feel cranky and whiny.

And it's not like I've been mistreated or insulted. I'm just not comfortable around people right now.

Unfortunately, I'm one of them. I aggravate myself.

I think part of the problem is that I'm also feeling like crying more than usual--for no reason, of course. And I'm not going to do it. Crying for no reason is stupid unless you're pregnant or under ten years old.

I also think I'm having tremendous difficulty communicating my needs and/or feelings lately. And I've had more than one conversation where I've felt like I only exist so people can unload on me (which I usually don't mind a bit) and no one is hearing what I'm saying and it would be really nice to have a shoulder to cry on for no reason (even though I'm not going to do that). So I resort to humor. I'm hilarious. I say all sorts of witty and delightful things, but inside I feel like sludge.

So I will blame the weather and the time of year and hormones and tulips and daffodils and cute bunnies and graduating seniors and pop music and computer viruses and stupid television shows and brown carpet--because otherwise I have to take responsibility for this myself and quite frankly, I don't want to.

Still, it would be nice to stop feeling like a crankypants and actually enjoy people for awhile.


  1. Sorry your feeling bad right now hope there will be lots of sunshine and flowers and butterflies for you to enjoy when you run.Hopefully you get some time to enjoy your run. -hugs-A.J.

  2. hmm... That's interesting. Lately I've experienced a similar irritation with my roommates and people in general. I can't place why except that I may not be getting enough sleep and am in pain. I'm sorry you're experiencing this but thanks for letting me feel not so alone. I understand the cranky part too. I just want things to smooth out and all I get is this low level of worry/frustration. Not what your dealing with but I bet you can relate to some degree. Have a good night.

  3. AJ--I'll stop being cranky soon, but thanks for the lovely wishes.

    Blueyedane--Glad I'm in such good company. :-)

    I think tomorrow will be better for us both.

  4. I hope you feel better soon. Not a fun mood to be in. I think fate should send some chocolate your way.