Living Dangerously

I awoke this morning feeling adventurous, so after making an appointment for my annual physical (which I'll probably cancel just as I have for the last 10 years of my life because having a man or woman poking around in, and clipping of samples of my vagina is not something I deal well with--and don't even think of comparing this to making love with my husband--IT IS NOT THE SAME!!!), I decided to visit our local dollar store. I never go there for many reasons, mostly because I think there's beauty in pricing variety, and no one should ever have a store where everything is valued the same, but that's a philosophical dicussion for another day.

Once at the dollar store, my true adventure began. I decided to walk through the food/candy aisles and just choose some things that looked interesting. I selected some innocuous looking foods, then bought Bugles because everyone likes those. I bought a Pilates DVD, some wipes for cleaning the inside of the car (stop laughing at me AtP), some finiture wipes, bathroom cleaner, two types of drain opener, foaming oxygenated grease cleaner, and party cups.

On the way home I tasted all the interesting new stuff (which was a singularly bad idea since I hadn't eaten yet today). Results:
1. Werther's Original Toffee Chews--not bad. If you like caramels, these are like mildly flavored ones. I would buy these again.
2. Breath Savers (wintergreen, spearmint, and citrus flavored)--as I'm a fan of Breath Savers, these were great (especially since they cost about 33 cents per roll) which was no surprise since I sort of live on breath mints. I got the citrus flavored ones for my kids.
3. Chocolate covered Tootsie Roll bites--I like Tootsie Rolls. These were awful. They tasted nothing like chocolate, and I was hard-pressed to identify any Tootsie Roll flavor either. I don't know whose idea this was, but it was a bad one.
4. Vanilla filled tube-shaped wafer cookie things--these came in a cool tin, and that was the best part. Imagine spreading fairly tasteless vanilla frosting on corrugated cardboard and you'll have a good idea of how these taste. Adam took one bite, calculated the cost of each individual cookie and paid me to allow him to throw his in the trash.
5. Almond flavored windmill cookies--I don't know what the manufacturer's idea of almond flavoring is, but these did not taste like almond. I would describe the flavor as a cross between cloves, nutmeg and anise. The texture was that of a very hard, thick cracker. These will be tossed in the trash. I don't believe they could pass as dog biscuits, even if dipped in gravy first.
6. Bugles--the real ones, not a store-brand pretender. My children rose up and called me blessed because I rarely buy fried or high-fat foods. These were a big hit, of course. I even ate some. I actually like the caramel Bugles--you should try these if you haven't, and let me know what you think of them.

And now that I've had my annual risk-taking adventure, I will return to my mundane existence with relief.