Today I began teaching summer music institute at the university. It's a week long session with classes beginning at 8:00 a.m. The performance students will work together to prepare ensemble pieces for a recital. They have five days to practice before the performance. It's rather intense, but so much fun. Lydia and I spent four hours auditioning students. I enjoy meeting them, and enjoy hearing them play, but four hours is a long time.

I asked to be relieved of two of my classes. I've never done that before. I just feel that given my trouble with sleep, I need to not be so involved this year. I'm also not performing a solo recital this year. I'm trying not to feel that I'm failing. It's difficult.

I have six return students. They asked if they could study with me privately this week. I suggested they take lessons from Lydia, who is head of the piano faculty. She said she would take most of my private students. So I have only two this week. Lydia saw me for the first time in a couple of months today. Usually I get a "You're too beautiful. Why aren't you a lesbian?" comment. This time I heard, "Samantha, you look like sh*t! What's going on?" Yeah, it was lovely.

I don't feel that I'm making any progress. I'm trying different strategies. That's all I have to say, I guess.