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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The M.U.N.S.A. test

Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly "Interesting movies"? It could be that you're one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of shag carpet! If so, you may want to join MUNSA - Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association.

Try the questionnaire below. The results could surprise you! If you can't even read the question, you're halfway there already - just get someone to fill out our full color brochure at any trailing chemist, and you'll be in for some, good old fashioned non-challenging material.

1. Which of the following WAS one of the famous Marx Brothers?

a. STRETCH
b. SKID
c. HARPO
d. TYRE

2. The number missing from the series (1,2,4,..,16) is:

a. YELLOW
b. GERANIUM
c. 8
d. TYRE

3. The letter missing from the series (a,b,c,..,e) is:

a. z
b. b
c. d
d. TYRE

4. A man walks into a Barber Shop, with $5.00. He buys 2 lemons at 45c each, 1 Pickled Eel for $2.40, 4 packets of washing powder for $3.15 each. What will happen?

a. The Barber will wonder where all the stuffs coming from
b. He wasn't in a Barber's shop, it was a Dairy
c. The Barber will ask him if he's from MUNSA
d. Tyre

5. Two trains leave the same station, but moving in opposite directions. The first train is travelling at 50km/hr EAST, while the second one is travelling 50km/hr WEST. Which train is travelling the fastest?

a. The one going EAST
b. The one going WEST
c. Neither
d. Tyre
e. Why aren't there (e.)'s in all the other questions

6. What comes next in the series (RED, GREEN)

a. A car
b. Orange
c. Insufficient Data
d. Tyre

7. Mona Lisa was:

a. A dissatisfied Woman
b. A Song by Billy Idol
c. A painting
d. Tyre

8. The cold war was about:

a. Ice
b. Autumn
c. A few people at the top not liking each other
d. Tyre

9. Complete the following Sequence: (Tyre Tyre Tyre)

a. Tyre
b. Tyre
c. Tyre
d. Pardon?

Ok, time to total up all your marks. Those of you who haven't mastered addition yet, go straight on to the application; you're the sort of person we're looking for. If not, Give yourself 5 points for every D, -5 for every C, (+10 if you can't add negative numbers yet), 0 for every B and 0 for every A you ticked. How did you do?

90 to 50: OK! You're the sort of person we're looking for. Add 10 points to your score if you haven't got the hang of using anything but crayons yet.

50 to -20: Who's been doing late night studying then? Sorry, you're just a run of the mill pleb - push off.

-20 to -90: A computer geek I bet. Go join some place where they talk big numbers and floppy disks!

Is 85 between 90 and 50? Alright! Go to the bottom of the class! You're a leading light in our Association; get someone to fill the form in for you and welcome aboard!

What will MUNSA do for you?

MUNSA is a group of people just like yourself, and as such will have much the same interests. We'll meet once a month to watch American Game Shows (Except for our "advanced" class which will be watching the Australian Imitations), Television Dating Games, and listening to Public readings of Romance Novels. Also at the meetings, you'll have the opportunity to buy:

* Swamp land at ridiculously inflated prices

* Genuine Japanese imports with UNTAMPERED ODOMETERS (with scratches on it)

* Slice/Dice/Mince/Stack shelf-mount food mungers from C-Tel

* "Safe" relocatable houses from Chernobyl and many many more things, as yet not exploited.

As a special initial offer, you will be given a free Brain Warning device which rings an alarm if your IQ gets above 25, in time for you to go back to your local pub for a couple of jugs of your favorite Weasels.

4 comments:

  1. This wouldn't be directed at anyone in particular, would it? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crap, I usually do well on tests like this, but I got a negative number. Is this material going to be covered on the final as well?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am not going to engage in futile rhetoric with you.
    Let's just say that your comment was pretty inane, even for you-
    If you think that I , for ONE minute, believe that yours and Darrin's blogs are written by the same person, you ARE more insipid than I could ever have imagined.
    I laughed at your feeble attempt to "cover" for yourself on Darrin's blog.
    (At the very least, be consistent- change the font size so it is the same as the other posts and keep the writing style "the same" so as to appear to be him. DUH!!!!!)
    And, if you write both blogs as you "claim", which we BOTH know you DO NOT, your life is even MORE pathetic than I thought it to be.
    Your blog "patrol" to track people was SO predictable, and laughable-
    I have just been WAITING for the "invisible" counter to appear on Darrin's screen- sure enough, it did.
    Darrin's comment on your blog PROVES that your blogs are distinctly written by TWO people-
    people like you are TOO proud, TOO puffed up in your own importance, TOO addicted to adulation, TOO addicted to grandiosity, TOO self-absorbed, feeling the need to share EVERY bromidic detail of your life to apologize for ANYTHING.
    Darrin apologized.
    HE recognizes the serious nature of what I have said.
    You could learn a lot from him.
    I suggest you are letting YOUR moronic emotions get the better of you.
    With the weather getting colder hope your car tires have the right amount of air pressure in them.
    You may not drive a lot, but others in your family do- hope they are safe.
    I hope you have as much fight in you when we DO hook up, maybe at your next concert, as you do in writing.
    I LIKE a good fight.
    Really I do NOT expect much of a physical fright from you though-
    you are just a wimpy, whiny, diminutive runt.
    (More synonyms for fob prick- we know how much he loves them.)

    Your children?
    How safe are THEY?
    Hmmm.
    THEY will be tasty.

    Game on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marvin, I don't really care what you believe. I find it horribly tragic that you have no sense of humor and must try to find validation through your inept attempts to intimidate me. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm rarely intimidated by anything and I'm perfectly capable of caring for myself and those I love. I'm willing to forgive your cowardly veiled threats and chalk them up to less than average intelligence and some sort of life frustration. My suggestion is that you focus less on ways to try to upset me (because you'll fail miserably) and more on how to get a real life for yourself which doesn't involve trying to negatively impact the lives of people you have never met. I don't expect you to take my suggestion--that would infer a logical train of thought. But I did think it would be compassionate to let you know that such would be a much more rewarding and productive way of life.

    ReplyDelete