The Plan

Ultimately, of course, it's to learn how to have emotions and manage them. I'm working on it.

In the meantime, the weather is incredible right now--I could run outside all day.

But I know that's probably not the best idea I've ever had, so I'll wear my red shoes and capris instead. 

Completely unrelated conversation with DJ:

DJ: Mom! Adam keeps wearing my shirts!

Me: I know.

DJ: Make him stop!

Me: What do you think I should do to make him stop?

DJ: I don't know--ground him!!

Me: DJ, what would have happened if, when you were almost 15 years old, I grounded you when you did something  you knew you weren't supposed to do?

DJ: Uhh...I'd probably still do it. And I'd be really mad at you.

Me: Still want me to ground him?

DJ: I don't know. I just want him to stop!

Me: He will. He's testing limits right now, seeing how far he can push everyone. There are consequences you're not seeing--and I won't be sharing them with you because Adam is allowed to have some privacy when it comes to the discipline he's learning. For now, it might be a good idea if you take care of your laundry rather than leaving it on the couch. It's less accessible in your room.

DJ: Even if I leave it on the couch, he shouldn't steal my shirt!

Me: I'll tell you what, if you don't like the way I parent, when you're a parent you can choose how you'll deal with your teenagers borrowing clothes without permission. And I won't criticise. In fact, if your solution is better than mine, I'll be thrilled.

Long pause...

DJ: I'm not sure what I'll do.

Me: No. It's a tough call.

DJ: But, judging by how great I've turned out, I guess I'll have to trust that you know what you're doing. But I was never as bad as Adam is.

Me: You had your own unique set of challenges.

DJ: I was still better than Adam.

Me: If you say so.

DJ: I didn't steal my brother's shirts!

Me: Your brother's shirts have always been too small. But I seem to remember your dad, yesterday, grumbling about someone stealing his pants. 

DJ: Well, I needed them.

Me: I don't doubt it.

Long pause...

DJ: Okay, you made your point. 

Me: I wasn't making any points. Just mentioning things I've noticed.

DJ: Very funny, Mom. I don't think you know how to lose an argument.

Me: Were we arguing?

DJ: See what I mean?

Me: Not really, no.

DJ: So, if I stop stealing Dad's pants, will you make Adam stop taking my shirts?
Me: I rarely make anyone do anything.

DJ: Maybe you could guilt him into not stealing?
Me: Not my style.

DJ: Maybe I should take care of my laundry?
Me: That sounds like a good idea. There are consequences for Adam taking things from your room, but not really any for him rescuing things from the couch. 

DJ: Fine.

Me: Thanks, I appreciate your help.

DJ: I'm a little old for you to keep doing that parenting thing on me, you know. 

Me: Yes.

DJ: You're still going to do it, aren't you.

Me: Yes.

DJ: I guess, since there's nothing I can do about it, it will have to be okay.

Me: Want to go out to lunch with me today?

DJ: Yeah.

Me: Okay, let's go. You drive.