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Monday, October 27, 2008

The Plan

Ultimately, of course, it's to learn how to have emotions and manage them. I'm working on it.

In the meantime, the weather is incredible right now--I could run outside all day.

But I know that's probably not the best idea I've ever had, so I'll wear my red shoes and capris instead. 

Completely unrelated conversation with DJ:

DJ: Mom! Adam keeps wearing my shirts!
Me: I know.
DJ: Make him stop!
Me: What do you think I should do to make him stop?
DJ: I don't know--ground him!!
Me: DJ, what would have happened if, when you were almost 15 years old, I grounded you when you did something  you knew you weren't supposed to do?
DJ: Uhh...I'd probably still do it. And I'd be really mad at you.
Me: Still want me to ground him?
DJ: I don't know. I just want him to stop!
Me: He will. He's testing limits right now, seeing how far he can push everyone. There are consequences you're not seeing--and I won't be sharing them with you because Adam is allowed to have some privacy when it comes to the discipline he's learning. For now, it might be a good idea if you take care of your laundry rather than leaving it on the couch. It's less accessible in your room.
DJ: Even if I leave it on the couch, he shouldn't steal my shirt!
Me: I'll tell you what, if you don't like the way I parent, when you're a parent you can choose how you'll deal with your teenagers borrowing clothes without permission. And I won't criticise. In fact, if your solution is better than mine, I'll be thrilled.

Long pause...

DJ: I'm not sure what I'll do.
Me: No. It's a tough call.
DJ: But, judging by how great I've turned out, I guess I'll have to trust that you know what you're doing. But I was never as bad as Adam is.
Me: You had your own unique set of challenges.
DJ: I was still better than Adam.
Me: If you say so.
DJ: I didn't steal my brother's shirts!
Me: Your brother's shirts have always been too small. But I seem to remember your dad, yesterday, grumbling about someone stealing his pants. 
DJ: Well, I needed them.
Me: I don't doubt it.

Long pause...

DJ: Okay, you made your point. 
Me: I wasn't making any points. Just mentioning things I've noticed.
DJ: Very funny, Mom. I don't think you know how to lose an argument.
Me: Were we arguing?
DJ: See what I mean?
Me: Not really, no.
DJ: So, if I stop stealing Dad's pants, will you make Adam stop taking my shirts?
Me: I rarely make anyone do anything.
DJ: Maybe you could guilt him into not stealing?
Me: Not my style.
DJ: Maybe I should take care of my laundry?
Me: That sounds like a good idea. There are consequences for Adam taking things from your room, but not really any for him rescuing things from the couch. 
DJ: Fine.
Me: Thanks, I appreciate your help.
DJ: I'm a little old for you to keep doing that parenting thing on me, you know. 
Me: Yes.
DJ: You're still going to do it, aren't you.
Me: Yes.
DJ: I guess, since there's nothing I can do about it, it will have to be okay.
Me: Want to go out to lunch with me today?
DJ: Yeah.
Me: Okay, let's go. You drive.


  1. Laugh out loud funny, and VERY wise. Major applause from Alan. Do you give parenting lessons? Mine aren't that old yet but it would be good to prepare. Meantime, hope you don't mind if I steal your script's ideas.