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Friday, October 1, 2010

Maybe I should just go naked.

I believe every piece of clothing I own is lying on my bedroom floor. This is not by design but I've been meaning to get rid of some of those items I never wear and use the storage space more productively, so it seems silly to put the clean clothes some place, if I'm only going to move them later--hence, they've found a new home on my floor. Because I made the decision to purge my wardrobe two weeks ago and I've not had time to follow through, there is nowhere left to walk.

I thought I would do this chore while Darrin was gone. He's not fond of my cleaning frenzies which usually infringe on his relaxation times and involve me asking for help (often because I can't reach the highest shelves and I'm too lazy to find a chair or stool). But so far my life has exploded and I've prioritized--and the clothing adventure is at the bottom of the priority list.

The good news is that I don't have to wonder where to find a particular shirt or pair of pants. The bad news is I have to sort through the pile to find what I'm looking for. One would think I could just walk into my room and deal with the problem. Instead, I'm here blogging about it.

I think the reason for my procrastination is that I'm not sure what to keep and what to toss. You never know, I might need sixteen sweatshirts and hoodies this winter. And even though I never wear a particular pair of pants, someday I might want to. And I find it difficult to throw out the clothing which is lovely, obviously expensive, but far too large for me, which my mother-in-law insists on handing down. I've never worn a size twelve in my life. I can't even imagine what that would look like...trying to imagine it now...wondering how much clearance my hips would have as I walk through doorways...thinking I might be as wide as I am tall...deciding size twelve on someone as short as I am is a very bad idea...

Also, it's time to weed out the shoes. I have too many. But I love shoes. One would never guess this, given the amount of barefoot time I expend, but it's true. Shoes are my nemesis. I did a huge purge three years ago, and found more than 25 pair, and 10 pairs of flip flops in addition to the shoe wardrobe. I pared down to 10 pairs of shoes, 5 pairs of flip flops. I'm fairly certain that by now I've exceeded the pre-paring-down number.

The problem is that I have feet most would consider very small. I wear a women's size five, which coincides with a children's size three. This means I can find clearance shoes everywhere. I don't usually spend more than $20 on a pair, and that would be an exorbitant amount for me. I average $7 to $12 per pair (and I'm not talking about cheap shoes--these are designer amazing ones). Consequently, it takes very little time for me to fill my closet with a variety of delights. Darrin pointed out, however, that I have about five favorite pairs which I wear regularly. The rest I wear infrequently enough that they still look brand new. Also, I don't like it if the bottoms of my shoes get dirty, so I clean them all the time. Darrin says that's a waste of time because I walk in dirty places with them. I can't help it. I like them clean. This has nothing to do with the volume of my shoe collection, I just happen to be thinking about it.

That propensity I have to choose only a few items which I love to wear, extends beyond my shoes. I have zillions of shirts, but for the past year, I only want to wear white ones. I usually pair them with a colored tank top, but still--I feel compelled to wear a white over-shirt most of the time. And I have a couple of pairs of jeans which are amazingly comfortable, and I opt for those over any other pair of pants. So there is no reason for me to own twelve pairs of jeans if I'm only going to wear two. I honestly don't know where all those pants came from.

One other slight drawback to purging my closets right now:  The lovely pain medication which is now luckily, but lamentably, all gone, took away my desire to eat. So most of what I own is sort of big. I don't believe that will last, however. I think I'll start eating again tomorrow. But it's difficult to make good decisions about getting rid of the things that don't fit me if nothing I own does fit. I do need some clothes.

Tabitha has graciously offered to let me borrow her clothes. She doesn't understand that I have no desire to wear the clothing of a teenager. Besides, I'm certain that if I decided I wanted to wear something of hers, it would be the same thing she wanted to wear that day, and if it wasn't, it would become so the moment I put it on. It's just a bad idea to borrow clothes from one's daughter.

Darrin comes home on Saturday. I'm thinking I should probably work on removing the clothing from our bedroom before he arrives. Probably I should just put everything into garbage bags and store them in my garage for two weeks. Anything I rescue from the bags during that time will stay--everything else goes.

Or, better yet, maybe I just need to go shopping. Anyone want to join me? I'm an amazing bargain hunter, and when we're finished we can go to a movie. Since I'll probably sleep through it, I'll let you choose which one. So... think about it...if you decide you want to come you know where to find me...I'll be right here...staring at the clothes on my bedroom floor...let me know...


  1. I sort clothes just the same way. Sure, I never use it and it doesn't actually fit, but someday it could and I might. I wish I lived closer--I'd love to go shopping with you.

  2. That would be so much fun! Except...I hate shopping for clothes for me. Let's just buy clothes for you. :-)