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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Bathrooms

Adam: I've seen the one at Little America. It has couches and chairs and lots of mirrors. Why? Why do the women's restrooms have things men's restrooms don't?

Tabitha: Because men's restrooms have things women's restrooms don't.

Adam: What? Condom machines?

Tabitha: No. Urinals. Women's restrooms have condom machines, too.

Adam: What would women do with urinals? They don't need them.

Tabitha: And men don't need couches in their restrooms.

Adam: Also, why do you need individual stalls? Why can't you just sit and pee together, like men stand and pee together? Why do you need privacy?

Tabitha: We don't. It's just an illusion. Behind the stall doors there are no walls. We sit and pee and chat together. That's why it takes us so long.

Adam: Tabitha. I've been in the women's restroom. I know what's in there.

Tabitha: Why were you in a women's restroom?

Adam: My friend pushed me inside during a school trip.

Tabitha: You're old enough you could get arrested for that. Voyeurism, you know.

Adam: How do you know about voyeurism?

Tabitha: How do you know about voyeurism?

Adam: Right. Let's leave that alone.

Tabitha: Good idea.

Adam: Anyway, you still have couches.

Tabitha: I'll tell you what: you bleed from your genitals for one week out of every month for the next forty years of your life, and I'll make sure every men's bathroom has a couch in it, just for you.

Long pause....

Adam: I think it's okay for girls to have couches in their bathrooms.

Tabitha: And I'm okay with guys having exclusive rights to urinals. Want to go make smoothies?

Adam: Yeah--but no spinach this time.

Tabitha: Mom's the only one who puts spinach in smoothies. I thought you liked it.

Adam: I do, but it's ugly.

Tabitha: Okay. No spinach.

3 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Your kids are great.

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  2. What a hilarious conversation! Definitely worth keeping in record. :)

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  3. They're an interesting pair. I'm always a little amazed at what they talk about.

    ReplyDelete