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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Just what were you expecting anyway?

I met someone recently. She's read my blog(s) and had a preconceived notion of what I would be like, physically. I didn't fit any of her imaginings. So, for anyone who hasn't met me, this is the disillusionment post.

Item one: I am not blond. I understand that Samantha of the television show was blond. She was a figment of the imagination played by blond Elizabeth Montgomery, who also donned a dark brown wig to play Samantha's cousin, Serena. I have brown hair, which varies in shade from light to dark with the seasons and whatever whim overcomes me when selecting the box of hair color at the store. My natural color is grey. I noticed my first grey hairs at the age of 13 or 14. It was noticeable enough to require coloring by the time I was 18. Apparently, stress and eating disorders, both of which effect hair loss and pigmentation (to a limited degree) contributed to my genes which would have made me prematurely grey anyway (my siblings all began greying by the time they were in their 20's), and sped up the process a bit. However, I don't plan to unveil my natural color for another twenty years (or so).

Item two: I am not emaciated. When I was in my teens and early twenties I was unhealthily thin at times. At its lowest point, my adult weight hovered around 80 pounds. That was a long time ago. My weight now, is well-within a normal range and has been so for quite a few years. After my children were born, I decided to do some weight lifting/body building, and I was an avid lifter until about two years ago. At that point I realized I was burning more calories than I was consuming, so I cut out the lifting to slow the weight loss (because I was not going to give up running). Result--my arms are not as beautiful as they used to be, and I'm not as tight anywhere except for my legs. Bottom line--I just look really normal.

Item three: I'm short. For some reason, that seems to be the comment I get most often, "You're shorter than I expected!" So--I'm 5' 2" tall. If I give the impression in my blog that I'm taller, that's only because I feel taller when I'm alone. In fact, I think I might be. However, one of the nicest things I've had someone say to me was when Tolkien Boy (speaking of hugging me) said, " fit well..." which might be something only he would think about--but still makes me smile.

Item four: I have brown eyes. I'm obsessed with blue ones, and always have been, and I'm sure I favor blue-eyed people over brown-eyed ones (AtP, Sully, and TB all have rather gorgeous blue eyes...if they had another X chromosome, rather than a Y one, and other female attributes, I might even be attracted to them, simply on the basis of their eyes...okay...that's too weird even to contemplate...nope...can't do it...for one thing, they're all too tall...for another, I can see them all balding in the next 20 years--so unattractive on females...but they do have very nice teeth...all of them...okay, I'm stopping because I keep giggling about this and I'm trying to be sort of serious, and this is a very long parenthetical phrase...). However, my own are dark brown, and not likely to be a different color in this lifetime without the aid of colored contact lenses. By the way, Darrin's eyes are green, but DJ's are blue...he has nice eyes...

Item five: I'm not sad and depressed all the time. In fact, I laugh at pretty much everything, so if you don't like the sound of my laugh, don't hang out with me ever. Oh--and I love to say funny things to AtP when we're passing unsuspecting people because then he starts laughing (very loudly), and startles the passers-by. Sometimes they even jump a little. And I have an obnoxious streak which makes me feel like teasing the people I love the most. One time I was teasing AtP about not being able to hear me (he's deaf in one ear), and By a Thread (because he is very sweet) mentioned that I wasn't very nice to my friend. So sometimes I forget that I'm teasing too much and have to be reminded. But for the most part, if you're with me I'm probably really happy just because you're there. I leave all my depressed stuff in this blog, then go out and have a wonderful time--unless I really love and trust you--then I might tell you if I'm having a hard time--one of the penalties of being my friend.

Okay--myths dispelled. Now, when you meet me you'll say, "Wow, you look exactly like I imagined you would!" because I describe myself very well. Although, as one person told me recently, most of my blogger friends are gay men, who really don't care what I look like anyway. Who knows, he could be right.


  1. Whenever we're together I feel like we're the same height, I don't understand that since there is a good 11 inches in our height.

    and I laughed so hard at your extended parenthetical phrase that one of my roommates came to check in on me to make sure I was OK.

    I love you, so much!

  2. I think I expected someone more intimidating, because you're smart and talented in every direction. And then you're friendly on top of that, so you weren't scary at all.

    Also, you seem taller than 5'2" to me. Probably because you're really outgoing.

  3. Heehee, I could completely hear your voice when you were stuck in your parenthetical phrase. And picture your beaming, laughing face.

    Lucky for me I caught a glimpse of you that one time before I ever really got into your blog, so my mental image of you has always been pretty accurate. I must say that your mannerisms make you seem taller than you are, even in person, though.

  4. It seems you look exactly like I imagined you would look like. I have never met you.

    AtP on the other hand I imagined to be shorter. I don't know why. :)

    Yes, I am one of those rude people who reads but never comments. I promise to say a real hello soon.

  5. Not all of your readers are gay men. I guess being a straight girl doesn't really help, but I still thought you were beautiful when we met.

  6. More misperceptions: I actually exist. I am not a figment of Sam's imagination. Next, I have red eyes, not green, but I wear contacts. Also, Sam's attitude is really over 6 feet tall.

  7. Okay, first I have to say, thank you for not mentioning that I can't count because "Item two" happened twice...or maybe you can't count either? Anyway, I fixed it.

    atp: I love you too! And I can't wait to see you again!!

    Ambrosia: I think it's awesome that people think I'm taller than I am. Yay!! And I don't think it's possible for me to be intimidating, although my son argues that when I'm angry it's pretty scary. Good thing that doesn't happen often.

    Drex: How do you do that? I can never hear people's voices when I read what they've written--and I've really tried. It must be a spiritual gift...

    anon: Please--feel free to introduce yourself and keep talking! I love to meet people, and I think I may have to move to a new location because I seem to have met most everyone except for The Great -L-, and since he's a superhero, I may never get to meet him at all...

    Stephalumpagus: Ummm...remember me? Any girl (gay or straight) who thinks I'm beautiful makes me smile for hours and hours...You made my day :) !

    Darrin: Your eyes are not red! And I adore you...

  8. You look and act pretty much exactly like I'd imagined before meeting you. But then I had the advantage of seeing a couple of photos and having a handful of mutual friends who had met you and/or talk with you on the phone three times a day.