Add to Technorati Favorites

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Credit where credit is due

I simply must thank Rude Visitor Marvin for his most recent comments. For, in spite of the fact that his command of the English language is lamentable and would make a third grader cringe, he has reminded me of something in which I am remiss...well, truthfully, it wasn't necessarily him, but the comments that preceded and followed his...

I MISSED MY COMMEMORATIVE MISTER FOB'S BIRTHDAY POST!!!!

I'm hoping he'll forgive me for being a bit preoccupied, and accept my belated tribute in spite of me. But if you get a chance, please head over to his blog to send felicitations (except for Marvin--I think you should stay here with me because I would miss you so much if you left).

In honor of our latest "scum sucking road whore (thanks for the help, AtP)", Rude Visitor Marvin (hereafter to be known as RVM, which should be easy enough to remember), I will alter my language to reflect his illiteracy, as I don't want him to feel left out.

It's alw--ys a slightly st--cky situation to admit that one is in love with someone else's h-sb-nd, so I'm hoping FoxyJ will f--give me for ad-ring her sp--se. H--ever, I'm sure that ev--yone will agree that to kn-- Mi---r F-b, is to l-ve h-m. So, in honor of his b----day, I have made a l-st of t-n thi-gs I lo-e ab--t M----r F--:

1. He th-nks I'm f--ny (and really, since I have such a need for his adulation, it's only fitting that the first one is all about MEEEE!), wh-ch means he has an imp--cable sense of h-mor.
2. He dr--ses up for H--low-en as a sup-r hero--and makes c--tain that his chi--ren fo--ow s--t (literally).
3. He's a r--l dad! He t-kes his t-rn with f--ding, cl--nup, and wa-ching TV. And he th--ks his chi--ren are ad-rable (they are), as any dad sh---d.
4. He m-kes me l--gh (again--all about me--adulation--you know...) bec--se he's fu--y. I d-n't say that a---t many p--ple.
5. He l-ts m- say wha- I w--t to on his bl-g. Gr-nted, I'm alw-ys courte-us, affirm--ive, and delightf-l, but really, wh-t else c-n one po--ibly exp--t from one as wicked adorable (thank you again, AtP) as Me?
6. He wr-tes beautif--ly.
7. He's hum-n a-d emp-th-t-c without be-ng m--dlin, and I have b--efited from h-s w-rds more t--n once.
8. He s--ms to live in a c-nsist-nt st-te of eudaemonia (so sorry, RVM, for the big words of more than three syllables, but really, stooping to your level can be so tedious).
9. He l-kes av-cados. And s- d- I.
10. He's f-n to pl-y with...and t-lk with...and be w-th...

I r--lly th-nk, one d-y, you --d I, Mister Fob, sh--ld play Scr-bble.

Thank you, FoxyJ, for allowing me to laud your husband. He really is one of a kind. I love you both and I am blessed to know you.

Oh, and Mister Fob--Happy Birthday!

P.S. Ben--If you want the highbrow version, let me know. I'll email it to you.

13 comments:

  1. I am duly flattered, Sam. Also, your post made me laugh quite a bit. Dare I say it? I find it comical, even humorous.

    In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I had to look up eudaemonia. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH MY GOSH!!! THAT IS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!

    illusion (NOT what the erudite Mr. Fob intended): an erroneous representation; something many people believe that is false; the act of deluding

    allusion (used correctly and in context by the erudite Mr. Fob): passing reference or indirect mention

    Please, oh please don't stop talking, Rude Visitor Marvin!! I haven't been this entertained by a person flaunting his ignorance (mostly because my Courteous Visitors are extremely intelligent) in a long time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I read his comment before you had responded and walked away saying, "Huh. I don't remember using the word illusion, but it's entirely possible I did and I left out an l or something." Then about five minutes later I burst out laughing when I made the connection. Too too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marvin--

    You are being laughed at. Hard. By many people. (This is, after all, a highly trafficked blog.)

    Thanks for providing the entertainment of my whole weekend. Keep throwing your temper tantrums. And, next time, look up the spelling of whench (sic) before you criticize the correct spelling of allusion, ROFL.

    Also just so you know, in response to what seems to be the idiotic premise of your disdain: Samantha has an entire list on the right-hand column of her blog of people that have met her in person. People that she has identified herself to, personally spoken to and, in many cases, become friends with. Her anonymity is to protect herself as well as her potently difficult situation (which, having read nearly every blog entry she’s ever written and having spoken to her at length outside the context of this blog, I find to be authentic, real, and moving) from people like you, and I commend her for shielding and protecting herself from someone so contemptible and virulent. (Look those ones up, buddy). She is nothing but real and forthcoming to those who wish her well and wish to know her. In your case, I assume you’ll be lucky to get passing mention a few more times if you keep up your antics, and then you will be long forgotten and ignored like other naysaying, ignorantly critical, and tragically self-absorbed and self-enlightened fools of the past.

    I, for one, am completely astounded that you would be so offensive for absolutely no identifiable reason, and will simply go on with my day baffled at the idea that people like you exist.

    In the meantime, keep on talking! Your colors (dismal and dingy), and brilliance (or lack thereof) are seeping through in all their glory, much to the amusement of many.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So I've been thinking about how I feel about being called "fob prick." I've decided the name has to go. Henceforth I will be addressed only as the Prick of Pricks or as His Royal Prickness.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Does that mean I get to be the Whench of Whenches or Her Royal Whenchness? (what in the world is a "whench" anyway?)

    I'll just add that to my list of titles:

    Queen of The Queerosphere
    Everyman/woman
    Tall Black Man Fob-to-be

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think it's the long lost wh- question word: who, what, where, when, why, and whench. It's sort of like who, but used only when you know the referent is an undesirable woman.

    "Whench said that?"
    "Whench are you going out with?!"
    "Whench stole my underwear?"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my goodness! Being a whench comes with the underwear-stealing superpower! It just doesn't get any better than this!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. It’s official: I have stopped believing Marvin is a real person.

    C'mon... which one of the you bloggers is playing a trick on Samantha?

    ReplyDelete
  10. (I posted a comment, and then had some more fun, sarcastic ideas, so had to delete it and post this one)


    1) Actually, "whench" is an alternate, dialectal form of "whence" used primarily in north Birminghamlancasterwhorchestershire between 1793 and 3 Q.E.D.

    2) Alternatively, it's a whay for those whithout any teeth to be able to pronounce said whord whithout all the air escaping out the front of their mouth and making them (even more) unintelligible. (which is not a misspelling of the word "unintelligent" - or is it?...)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Marvin, what do you have in mind? An online expose? A war? A physical confrontation? You certainly have an advantage over us. You obviously know all about us. How about sharing some information about you? Why are you even in this forum? Are you stalking my beautiful wife? (hahaha) Obviously you have been insulted and offended, and that was wrong. I am sorry they did that. But you yourself are being secretive and illusive. I think if you want a little respect, you should share a little bit about yourself and allow others to contact you, even while retaining your anonymity.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dear Marvin,
    You are silly and sort of stupid if you think I'd be scared off by someone who gets all his info from BLOGS!!! For all you know, we made everything up. I could be a man. I write over 19 blogs--Darrin's is one of them. It's all a fantasy...or is it???

    The joys of cyberspace...you can be anyone you want to be.

    Just reminding you that things are never quite what they seem--especially when one is a witch,

    Samantha

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear Marvin,

    I think you're bluffing. Consider this me trying you. How about let's see some information you couldn't have gotten from obsessively reading Sam and Darrin's blogs?

    Love,

    His Royal Prickiness, the Prick of Pricks, Fob Prick

    P.S. Next time you're going to go all psycho internet stalker, do it on someone else's birthday post.

    ReplyDelete