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Friday, November 12, 2010

"Things will get better despite our efforts to improve them." ~ Will Rogers

I understand that my running outside mornings are probably over for a few months but I can't stop checking the weather forecast. I'm not sure what I'm looking for...some miraculous all-the-snow-will-melt-and-it-will-be-70-degrees type of November...sigh...

Today our high will be in the 30s, but we have plentiful sunshine and the birds are noisily partying in my crabapple tree. My pansies still don't believe it. They are unscathed by this week's two snowstorms and insist on blooming if the sun is shining. Interestingly, the purple daisy I brought indoors before Halloween has finished opening all the buds existing at its cutting and has made new ones as it sits in its glass of water. There is new greenery growth, as well. I'm wondering how long it will last.

Darrin's father had been talking about coming to live with us for four months each year. Last night he called to tell us that might not happen. He's been able to find an apartment opening in a retirement complex and he wants to stay on the East coast. He's excited about the prospect of living on his own and in that community. To my surprise, Darrin is thrilled. He's said nothing prior to this, but he really does not want his dad to live with us right now. He felt that would place a huge burden on me when I'm not ready for it. I think he's probably right.

I'm finding, for the first time in a couple of years, after I run each day, I have a period of peace and well-being lasting anywhere from fifteen minutes to three hours. This actually began about a week ago. It gives me time to regroup, to rebuild, and allows me to lucidly plan what must happen next in my life rather than simply waiting for the next crisis with the hope that I'll survive. And although difficult things are still happening, they don't feel as devastating or personal.

I think today is a good day to play Christmas music and make double chocolate almond biscotti...or homemade pretzels...or enchiladas...