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Tuesday, July 1, 2008


I realized last year that I have divided my life into different "people" because somehow, those divisions help me understand my feelings more clearly. It's difficult to explain, but if I'm not able to put the feelings into the age appropriate context I become confused and overwhelmed. Nothing seems to make sense. In the past nine months I have spent a lot of time looking at each segment of my life, characterizing who I was, why I felt the way I did, and what I needed. If you're into graphs and charts, I have those, as well.

The purpose of this series of posts is to allow me to put my research of myself in one place. I want to be able to look at it in condensed form. The previous post has relevance to this one, obviously. And now that I've gathered a wealth of information, I finally feel able to proceed toward whatever the next step may be. Each division of myself will be characterized within its own post. Any needs will be listed, as well as ways those need have been met, if any. I will also include any peripheral thoughts and ideas I deem relevant.

Each post will be somewhat detailed. There will be retelling of some of the events that have shaped my life and brought me to seek counseling. These events are significant, and even though I have addressed them before, I have not addressed them in this way. I have used this blog to finally say the things I have run from all my life. This series of posts is not a means for me to tell the events, but rather, to place them in order, to allow myself to look at things as they are, and to draw conclusions about how I will proceed from this point forward. There will, of necessity, be repetitions of things already said. I am learning that in order for me to gain understanding of any event or situation that incites raw feelings I need repetition.

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