Dear Adam,

When you read the directions on a chocolate orange, and they say, "Whack! Then unwrap!", it is best to choose a hard surface for the "Whack!" part.

Your forehead does not qualify as a hard surface. I'm trying to muster up sympathy for you because I'm sure this hurts, but mostly I find myself questioning your intelligence:

(Adam's forehead)

I do thank you, however, for not making a scene or getting blood on my car seat.

Love,

Mom

P.S. Next time (and I hope there's not one) please let me know what you have done before five hours have passed, just in case you concuss yourself.