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Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Good things are happening...amazing, wonderful, beautiful good things...

Perhaps it was something Therapist said, or my hard work is finally paying off, or it's just time...


I'm sleeping. I've had no nightmares for ten days. And for the past four days, I've done no mental prep before I've slept--still, no nightmares/flashbacks. I've slept so much in the past six days. I must be catching up. And it's good sleep, real, not fitful or interrupted.

I'm calm. For the first time in many months there's no lurking anxiety, no ignored stress, no fretful insecurity. I don't feel that I have to run, I do it because I love it. I'm not smiling to hide my stress from people, I'm doing it because I like to smile.

I'm strong. I don't feel overwhelmed or pressured to continue something I started and don't know how to stop. I feel capable and ready to keep working toward whatever the goal may be--not that I know my goal yet, but when I figure that out, I'll be ready!

So many things have returned to "normal". My life belongs to me again, and that's a wonderful feeling.

This does not come without side-effects. Some of those are a tiny bit alarming. I'm not ready to discuss them yet. I'm reveling in the positives of my current situation, and I want to discuss those kind of unhappy side-effects with Therapist and see what he has to say. I have a feeling I'm not going to like what he tells me. However, for now--I'm good.

The calm before the storm? I wouldn't be surprised. Bring it on.


  1. I'm so glad you can sleep well again. : )

  2. I am glad that things have turned around for you. They have for us as well. :) We still have the path to walk back, but at least we have changed the direction we are going!

  3. I'm so glad you are able to sleep! :-)

  4. I am so glad things are better. Take care . :) -A.J.

  5. OH yay! :D Even if it is just a calm before the storm, you've gotta have a break once in a while!

  6. I like the "bring it on" attitude - thats the best way to do it