Love Lists: Day Four

Things I love to avoid at all costs:

1. Construction sites. I don't find them fascinating, I'm not interested in what the finished product will look like, I'm not happy that something new is being built. I just want to go back home and hide under my covers until the thing is built, at which point I'll be very happy to look at it.

2. Your latest remodeling project. This is related to construction sites. Please don't show me the work in progress or tell me about it. I don't want to hear about deadlines or backorders or over-the-budget contractors. However, if I love you enough I will listen, but at that point you'll need to acknowledge that our love has exceeded the bounds of friendship and ascended beyond that of lovers. Just let me know when your remodel is done and I'm happy to ooh and aah the finished product. If pressed, I'll even view "Before" and "After" photos without becoming nauseated.

3. Big hunks of meat. Any kind. I don't want to touch them, see them, or smell them. A large steak does not make me drool. I was raised on a farm. I probably met the animal from which the meat came. I don't want to have anything to do with it. However, I am not a strict vegetarian. I will eat fish and seafood. I'll eat the white meat of chicken. Occasionally we include beef and pork in our diet, as long as I don't have to handle larger pieces. Sadly, I have passed this dislike of meat on to Tabitha and Adam.

4. Crowds. This might have something to do with the fact that when large groups of people are standing together, I'm probably shorter than most of them and cannot see beyond the people surrounding me. I'm a very bad concert date. Quite honestly, I would rather miss something amazing and read about it later, than stand with bunches of people waiting to see it in person. Probably when Christ comes again, I'll be the one staying home, praying, "Thank you for coming. I'm sorry I missed it. I just have difficulty with all your children."

5. Garage Sales. Don't get me wrong--I think they're great ideas and I've attended them and purchased my share of used items. But they scare me. People I've known forever display parts of their personal lives I don't want to know about, and perfect strangers become far too familiar by means of the things they wish to sell. And it doesn't matter if I know the person or not, whatever I end up buying is scrubbed and washed millions of times before I allow its use. All I can think of is the fact that it's been used before, when the truth is, it's probably a great deal cleaner than anything I could buy at Walmart.

6. Interior decorating. I'll be honest, I find walls with nothing adorning them rather soothing. Each time we've moved, Darrin has been the one to place pictures and decorative items. One of my students presented me last year with a very large painting for my studio. It's lovely and I like it a lot--I just don't know what to do with it. Hence, it still rests against one of my studio walls, as yet unhung.

7. Shirt tags. Even the printed ones can bother my skin. I've been known, in the evening when I'm relaxing, to put on sweats and an inside-out t-shirt because the tag bothers the back of my neck. My kids are used to this now, but Darrin will invariably mention that my shirt is inside-out. I used to remind him why I wear it that way. Now I just say, "How about that!"

8. Adult-sized socks. This limits my selection a bit, but women's socks are always too large and the heel part lands just below my calf. This would be okay if I were a tiny person upon whom tiny feet looked appropriate. But I'm not. I'm a smallish person whose feet look ridiculous. I've been known to purchase shoes a size or two larger so people won't notice quite as much. But too-large socks make me crazy. They twist and bunch up and look silly with the heel part sticking out of the back of my shoe. So if my socks appear a tad less mature than I do--well, now you know why.

9. Makeup. I know it's socially appropriate for a woman to use that stuff to appear more beautiful, more colorful, more healthy, younger... I don't know how other women do it. Who has time? Who can manage to go through a day without smearing it or wiping it off? And it's EXPENSIVE! I suppose some women can buy the bargain stuff, but I always end up allergic to it. And, let's face it, I'm skill-less when it comes to application. Do I wear it? Occasionally, if I feel there is some reason to warrant it. But most of the time I only wear it if I'm performing onstage, and I usually wear it to church because I'm ready hours before Darrin and I have to kill time. And I'm pretty sure no one at church cares if my makeup looks stupid.

10. Emotions and relationships that confuse me. And who doesn't want to avoid these things? But I suppose what might make me different is that I've been known to talk about this to the point of aggravation. I can't seem to stop worrying the topic. Emotions are difficult, but if I'm in any kind of relationship which doesn't make sense to me, the other party will probably hear about it. The compulsion to figure things out is one that overwhelms me. I am powerless to stop talking about my confusion. And if I try, the result is that I simply stop talking. Forever. I suppose it's a "Love me or leave me" situation, although I've yet to figure out if that applies to me or to the other person.