My counselor instructed me to journal about my experiences as I allow myself to feel emotions. She told me to be explicit--to talk about the things I think about, the connections I make, the feelings and resulting responses. So I am doing that--but not here. In that journal, I will discuss things that can be uncomfortable, things that not everyone will want to read. I want to keep these things separate from this blog. I want them to be in a place all their own so that only those who wish to will encounter them. If you are one of those, I have placed a link on my sidebar (compulsive whining) which will take you to my journal.
This is an interesting step for me. Normally I would place these things in a super-secret blog and allow no one to read it. My counselor suggested that I might feel better if I stopped hiding the things that embarrass me or make me uncomfortable. She said that, regardless of whether people respond or not, and regardless of whether such response was positive or negative, I would feel that I have shown myself as I am, and that I would worry no more about presenting myself as people expect me--while at the same time being afraid that they might discover who I really am and reject me.
So, I'm taking her advice. We'll see what happens next.