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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Defining my own existence

I am experiencing an epiphanic growth spurt. Don't bother to look the word up because it is completely fabricated by me, and as such, will also be defined by me. Basically, an epiphanic growth spurt is when one begins to understand illuminating, but not necessarily complimentary things about oneself. We all experience them. They are a normal part of adult life. If you haven't yet hit epiphanic puberty, don't worry, you will. Whether or not you admit to it remains to be seen.

As I'm still searching through all that I'm learning about myself, I don't really wish to discuss it in detail. Suffice it to say, I'm not terrifically happy with the revelations, or epiphanies. It's a little disconcerting and I don't like it. However, it's good to establish practical realism before deciding how to proceed. And that's enough about that.

I told Tabitha about this today, and she said I needed to blog it--so I'm sharing this next part in her honor.

Today I was running on my treadmill. We're having a freak winter storm (very freaky as the birds keep making noise even while it snows and the wind blows--it's odd), and I'm a wuss, so I don't want to run outside. Running in a snow storm is cold and slippery and causes wet clothes which, in turn, cause chafing, and that's just not fun. So as I said, I was running indoors on my treadmill when it stopped. I had only gone about 2.5 miles, so I wasn't happy that it stopped. I turned it off and on, hoping it would start again. I unplugged it and plugged it back in. Nothing. Sadly, I reminded myself that I've had this treadmill for more than eight years and I've definitely gotten my money's worth out of it. It's not a bad thing to replace stuff. Still, I didn't want to.

Finally, I decided to go shower. I walked to my bathroom and turned on the light...nothing. I thought, Is everything breaking today? I flipped the switch a couple of times before it dawned on me that the electricity was out. For the next fifteen minutes I wavered between aggravation that I'd have to shower in the dark and happiness that I wouldn't have to buy a new treadmill. Then I just felt silly for not noticing in the first place.

The end.

P.S. This storm really is odd. The wind is noisy...the birds are snows...then it rains...the clouds are kind of thin so the sun shines through and makes everything sort of glow...I want it to stop.


  1. Our power went out one morning before work, and I had to shower in the dark. Pitch black. So I lit a bunch of tea candles and put them in the shelves in both corners of our shower. It was amazing. Ridiculously romantic and sexy. That is, it would have been, had someone else been there. But alas, nobody to share the moment with. That was one of those few moments I REALLY wished I was either married or promiscuous. *sigh*

  2. That sounds eery. I hope it stops soon.

    Although, showering in the dark, as mohomie says, is pretty awesome. I actually like to do that alone once in a while just for candle-lit me time.

  3. Okay--while the suggestion is not being disregarded, perhaps it's important for me to say that I consider bathroom time (all of it) a complete and utter waste. I dislike lingering in the shower or bath and I never read while seated on the throne (unlike the male members of my family). I just want to get clean (or do the deed) and leave the room. I'm guessing the reason behind this is that I was abused as a child in a bathroom, and still have some lingering discomfort about the place. Hence--unhappy about being in the dark, scary place. Yeah, it's taking me a very long time to grow up and get over this. Very aggravating.

  4. Epiphanic growth—I almost always had experiencing it. Hope yours goes better than mine.